A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was wondering after a friend with benefits situation has finished because the guy got a girlfriend, will the guy tend to still have sexual thoughts when he sees the ex fwb?My guy fwb broke things off cause he met someone but he still keeps on my radar, when he doesn't need to? Do guys often do this when they want to keep you as a back up if things go wrong, or when they aren't too sure? When they see a girl they used to hook up with do they still see her in a sexual way?I find it hard and too much bother to find a fwb, this one was so easy!I've also been half wondering whether he lied to me about having a girlfriend as an excuse for me to back off a bit, as admitadly I was the one who initiated most of our meet ups, would a guy do this?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 December 2013):
 yep he has sexual thoughts when he sees you or thinks of you
and no it does not mean he cares about you... men often (not always) have the uncanny ability to separate sex and love where women often (not always) do not.
is he keeping you for a back up if the current gf does not work out... yep
is it possible he made her up to get you to stop dogging after him (his interpretation) yep....
if you are the one initiating the contact then he's NOT that into you and is just "servicing" you and getting his needs met.
I did FWB once with an ex boyfriend.. it just kind of turned into it... and when I met someone else it just kind of petered out without either of us ending it...
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 December 2013):
 i suppose it's possible he made it up to get some space, however, it's pretty unlikely. he was getting easy sex, so i find it hard to believe he choose to walk away from that.
i'm not a guy, but i think like guys in a lot of ways. and if i had a fwb and then suddenly met someone i liked, i wouldn't think twice about dropping my fwb for this person. and i wouldn't think any sexual thoughts or anything about that other person any longer. i completely seperate sex from emotions. and a fwb means there is nothing but just sex. so it's completely easy to remove that person from your life when you're in a relationship with someone who means something and you're also getting sex, as well.
so i know i wouldn't still think sexual thoughts. but that's just me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2013): In my experience, in answer to all your questions1)will the guy tend to still have sexual thoughts when he sees the ex fwb? - yes, probably. I can't vouch for every guy of course (especially as I'm not one) but I continue to have sexual memories (and therefore sexual thoughts) about an ex-sex partner long after we've stopped sexual contact so I assume guys do too2) Do ex FWBs keep their ex conquests on the radar as a back-up? Yes, they do - you would probably hear from him every time he is "between relationships".3)Would a guy lie about having a relationship in order to end it? Don't know - that one's never happened to me. He could meana) I've met a girl I really like now - I need to stop seeing youb) You appear to want more than FWB and I can't give that to you so I'll hint at it by telling you about an imaginary girlfriend. (Or exaggerate the relationship with another FWB)c) I've had a girlfriend all along. She's getting suspicious - stop chasing me. I'll contact you when I'm ready
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