A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I would really value some advice on my ex fwb, then friend, now I-don't-know-what! We've always kept in touch since the benefits ended (I got a boyfriend, but not anymore). He says he always enjoys my company, and recently we have started to go out for drinks, a couple of meals and he has been helping me move in my new place. He's been very helpful with my move and advice when I was trying to get my mortgage, he spent a lot of time going through things with me.I've always liked him, more than a friend. And even more so this last year, when the benefits stopped. It was as though I saw a different side to him, a more caring and deeper side. But I had a boyfriend, so nothing happened.We recently started to become a little flirty over text, nothing OTT. Me went out in a group last night, and we both jumped in the same taxi. When I got out of the taxi, we gave each other a kiss. It was very quick, because the taxi driver had another job to go to. But still we kissed. He also touched/softly held my hand after we kissed and looked me in the eyes, not sexually, but more emotionally - I think. I don't know how to deal with this one. Does it sound like he may have feelings/want to date? He NEVER touched hands when we were fwb before, and it does feel like he does have more interest in me this time. Or is that because he wants sex, and I'm not being so easy about it like before? He knows he was my first casual encounter, and he also knows I don't do casual, that before was simply a one off experience, should I say, and I now know it wasn't for me.Do I bring it up and ask what are we? Or does that sound too pressurising? Or do I just continue to not let anything happen sexually but just go out with him and see if we kiss again?I think this guy is absolutely great. He knows I think so. He's said similar stuff to me too, but he is not one to wear his heart on his sleeve. He is also used to the single life, although I know he has been in a couple of short term relationships that didn't work out for one reason or another.I will wait for this guy. I will be patient and do whatever it takes so we can give it a go. And I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work, I think we are very well suited in my mind. I even think of bringing him home to meet my family, I would love to introduce him to my family, I think my dad especially would get on very well with him.What to do? Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2015): A man in his age who has never had a serious relationship? In my experience there is something wrong with him when it comes to relationships. As HoneyPie said he either doesn't want one or doesn't know how to be in one. The second is far worse because it can lead you to think that you can somehow help him... you can't. He has to fugure it out on his own. If you're that interested in him, stick around but make it clear that being friends is different from being together. Stop allowing him to be both at the same time. He doesn't sound shy or introvert. He doesn't sound as he has problems in getting a girl into his bed. He doesn't sound as ig he's just a closed bow waiting for someone to turn the key.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 May 2015):
 I'd personally, pull back a bit with the flirting and the light intimacy (kissing and hand holding). I'd "reserve" that for a partner, not a friend.
I DO think he could be looking to resume your FWB, that he enjoys your company, but dating? not sure.
You say he is mid 30's and only had a couple of short term relationships? So either he isn't interested IN relationships or he isn't good at maintaining relationship (or he used to have a taste in women that didn't mesh well with him).
I'd go really slow with this one. I'd let him.. "discover" that YOU two would make a great couple (versus telling him).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2015): You're overthinking it. Que sera, sera.If you REALLY want to know HOW he feels about YOU-why not ask HIM outright?Ask him to come with you to this family dinner and see how he reacts (or spring up a family dinner on him. Yes, not great of you etc. BUT it will show you how he feels/how he interacts with your family. A friend of mine did this recently- I thought it was very bad of him to do without warning her, but he did get what he wanted I guess- an answer that is. ps: she managed to "click" with his family and all was well in the END. I reckon she was very angry with him for a while, as I'd have been too. This is a high-risk, high-reward strategy though-it might end well or...not so much.)Alternatively, you can continue this "courtship" dance till you see where it ends, however I can't tell you how he feels. Even you're not sure. And no one can tell you what the future holds so it's patience vs high-risk gamble.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 May 2015):
 Keep doing what you are doing. Time will tell where this may be going. Just beware that going from a FWB to a full blown serious relationship is on the rare side.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2015): Hi, OP here. Thank you for your reply, but it didn't really answer my question. Yes obviously I like this guy, I'm just wondering about the body language during the kiss, that was all.
Also I thought I made it clear in my original question that I'm not interested in fwb/casual. Which is why I'm only interested in dating, sorry I thought I made that clear too.
Sorry for any confusion
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 May 2015):
 Sooooo, you're still carrying the torch for him... and HE knows how to get you back in to bed... Are you going to justify yourself? ... and resume being his little sexual plaything? Don't you think you deserve more than that?
Good luck..
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