A
female
age
51-59,
*ooty70
writes:I am still trying to get past my husband's cheating on me with other women he was meeting on internet dating sites for 5 years. This I have known about for 2 years and he stopped doing it and is trying to work on the marriage.Today I broke down about it again and told him I wanted to leave. He said to me who would be my "punchingbag" then and would I take it out on the children. He thinks I am aggressive, and has said that I have made his life unhappy and miserable.I have no job and limited finances. Is he implying that he has to be around to protect the children from me? Although I put that to him and he said thats not what he meant? Any thoughts about his statement. I dont punch him and never lay a hand on him. He is using the term "punchingbag" as emotional punchingbag I think. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): He was being sarcastic when he said who would be your punchbag. He meant a punchbag in the sense that you verbally/emotionally use him to vent your anger/frustration and if he was not around, would you use the children instead. I am sure he knows you wouldn't do that...at least i hope you wouldn't. He was just being sarcastic. And i am sure he is not staying around to protect the children from you. Even he said he didn't mean that, so don't worry.
Lets face it. If he was that worried about 'protecting' his children. He wouldn't have been cheating on their mother for years and landed you all in this mess anyway! So i really don't think he is just with you to protect the children. If he claims you have made him miserable for the past couple of years but he is still around it is because he wants to be with you, believe it or not.
Whether you still want him around or not is another matter. If you don't, then seek a solicitor/lawyer and find out what your rights are if you split up. You might not have to leave your home, he might have to be the one that leaves and might even have to provide some financial relief until you are working again.
Seriously if you aren't happy don't suffer for years. You won't get a medal for it. Go see a solicitor and find out what your next move should be.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Yes, it sounds like he means emotional punching bag and he thinks you'll take your frustration out on your children (not physically).
He may have felt brave or desperate enough to say it, but backed down to avoid an argument when you questioned him.
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A
male
reader, PrinceCharming  +, writes (7 September 2011):
I think your right it sounds like he is using the term as an emotional punchingbag. I dont know your personality but hemight be implying that you have a short temper and he didnt want you to go off on the kids because they cant take as well as he can
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