A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all... I can't believe I'm even doing this but I don't know where else to turn. Just about everyone I work with are gossip kings and queens and I need to be able to handle this in a mature, respectful way as I plan on sticking around these parts for a few more years to build my resume. I'd also like to be considered in high regard, rather than just 'some 20-something school girl with a fantasy about the teacher'.Let me start off by saying that I've been in many relationships in the past: physical, emotional, and both. I've done my soul-searching, made my 'young kid mistakes', I'm now becoming established in my career. I'm 24 and life is great. However, I met an amazing and sexy older man (he's 39) at my work. He's a co-worker, no conflicts having to do with a supervisory / subordinate relationship. Strictly speaking, it would not be completely inappropriate to start dating the man other than the fact that those in the office would be salivating over the gossip our enormous age difference would create.Having gotten to know him over the last two years while I was an intern and then starting off as 'the newbie in the office', I've come to find out these tidbits about him:1. He was married once for seven years right after he finished basic, they were both 18 at the time.2. After (his own words) 'the b*tch took everything including my dog, I got the hell out of dodge and haven't spoken to her since.'3. They had no kids.4. He wants three kids before he hits 45 (specific, I know).5. When he was 34, he was engaged to another woman (who was 21) whom he'd known and dated for a year but they broke it off after just three months.6. He got his Marketing degree at age 36 and has been working here since.7. We share identical political and religious beliefs (both of which are extremely important to me).8. We share a common interest in most music and movie genres and we're both absolutely obsessed with Shakespeare. (He's recited poems to me to cheer me up some days.)9. He's an Army vet and fought in the beginnings of the Iraq war. After his third tour, he was honorably discharged after nearly 10 years of service.All in all, he's great for the mind but he's also got a body that I just want to... do things to. I try to keep things professional but sometimes I'll catch him staring at me, or parts of me, and he's such an awkward teenager in that he blushes and turns away. He's told me once before that he's never met such an articulate woman with a body like mine. Obviously the man flirts with me but really, I just want to know how to get this going. I think it's really the age difference that kind of turns me off. My dad is only 10 years older than him!I also want to make sure I do this in a smart matter. I like my job, I actually wake up every morning feeling good about the fact that I'm about to go to this place. (Though that could have a lot to do with the fact that I get to see Mr. Sexy and Intelligent, Monday through Friday.) He just seems like the kind of man who would support my goals as a young woman in the business world but would also not hesitate to support me emotionally and financially if I were to get laid off or something. Considering his ideals when it comes to politics and religion, I feel like he would be a great provider as a husband and father. It also helps that he's got the most amazing, sexy body in suits that I've ever seen.The problem lies in how do I get this started and what can I do about the b*tches at the office if we were to start an office romance? Thanks for reading!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 March 2014):
 Before you do anything.... be sure to learn the Company policy about romances. Though supervisor/subordinate dating is universally frowned upon.... some Companies also insist that non-S/S romances are grounds for one of the parties to part the Company. Start there....
Good luck......
P.S. Do you ever wonder why this guy seems to always gravitate to younger woman/partners?
A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (19 March 2014):
Office romances will always be a topic of gossip at work. There is nothing you can do about it. Seems like you and this guy are hot for each other but looking at the things you've mentioned about him...I'm wondering if this may pose a problem because he has ALOT of life experience and your life is just beginning. Your career is important to you and you're rightfully proud of your achievements. What happens if you do date him though and it ends in disaster? Will you be able to face him at work, deal with the heartbreak and most definitely the gossip mongers, in a professional manner? If you can't do that, your career options may be affected as management will see you as emotional and immature. I speak from experience because my bosses regarded me as immature for crying over a failed office romance I had and this cast doubt over my abilities as an employee afterwards. I embarrassed myself and they did'nt want me embarrassing the company too.Are you able to keep any romance you might have with him a secret? I'd suggest before deciding on anything to find out other colleague's experiences with office romances. You might be able to learn from their experiences whether this is a good or bad idea. On the positive side, alot of relationships start at work because these days we work longer hours and both sexes work too in comparison to our parents or grandparents generation. Women are also very ambitious so during their career progressions in whatever job, they may meet their future husband too. Quite alot of office romances work out but it's just about making the right decision for yourself right now. And I'm sure you will.
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