A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years now and I have completely lost interest in sex. We've tried different things to get my interest back but it hasn't worked and I feel like a horrible girlfriend. I still love my boyfriend it's not that....help :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012): It could be that you have just gone off sex, i havn't had sex with my husband for 2 years, i just dont ever feel the need for it. I have been to the Doctor to get my hormone levels checked they are ok, i just dont enjoy it. People always assume that there is somethin wrong with you if you dont like sex, well there isn't! You could be the same just gone off it, nothing wrong with that. Some people dont like certain foods, just the same as some people dont like sex. Dont feel obliged to have sex if you dont want to.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 August 2012):
I second all the other suggestions. Have you started or stopped a new form of birth control? Are you stressed? Any new medications (like an antidepressant is one of the top libido killers)?
I also wonder if you always have easy orgasms? Because libido is pretty directly tied to how much you enjoy sex. Not just whether you have orgasms but also how easy they are for you. If you aren't having easy ones every time, you might want to try adding in sex toys he can use on you.
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A
female
reader, KaileyLove +, writes (13 August 2012):
Are you on birth control? Some brands can kill a sex drive. Maybe just take a break from sex. Explain that maybe you need to take it easy with sex and go see a movie, or something.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2012):
Have you been to see your doctor? It can actually be hormonal imbalance.
Was the sex good before you "lost" your libido? Were you satisfied? A few studies show that women can actually lose their libido totally if they are "getting" poor sex.
Stress can kill the libido as well, same for depression.
So overall I would make an appointment with your doctor.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 August 2012):
what's changed?
how long has this been happening
is it related to your method of birth control? (hormonal bc can cause loss of libido)....
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (13 August 2012):
Do you know why you have lost interest? Are you on any medications that could be responsible for a decrease in your sex drive? I'm not really sure what advice to give except try to find the root cause of your lack of desire. Maybe try giving him oral sex if you aren't in the mood to have intercourse. Or maybe experiment and try some new things, new positions, maybe some sex toys... Have you tried watching porn together? Maybe that would get you in the mood. Just keep trying and figure out what changed within yourself and go from there. Good luck!
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