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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 16 and have just realized that I have always had feelings for someone. The problem is he is about 30, married, and a family friend. I know I am not in love with him but I can't stop thinking about him and I am finding it hard to talk to him when I'm around him. What shall I do to get these silly thoughts out of my head? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2005): Firstly, he's married and loves someone else so there's no point thinking that you're going to have a relationship with him. Secondly you're 16 and he's 30, that's a big age gap to be thinking about having an affair with. Fall in love with someone your own age.
A
reader, pops +, writes (1 September 2005):
You are 16 years old. At your age, it is normal for think about and even fantasize about being with older men. This is the time of your life when you are seriously thinking about what you want in a man, and its very common to be attracted to a married man. Thinking is one thing; touching is another. Have your thoughts, but you are too young to be doing any touching, and he would be in much trouble if he was tempted to do anything with you. Understand what your brain is doing, and take it in stride. You are very normal, and very healthy, both mentally and physically. Enjoy being 16 with only these kinds of worries. It passes so quickly,and you will have much more serious things to think about a year from now. Think about: Are you telling us that you have never before had a crush on a teacher, or other adult male in your life? You will survive this, too.
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