A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How come when I see girls I wish to go out with, or get to know better, I have trouble talking to them? What can I do to overcome this shyness?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): I suppose it's like all of us. If there is someone you like, or would like to get to know, it can be really stressful, because you will be very concerned about the impression you make on them. You will be worried about whether you are saying/doing the right things, and you will wonder what they think of you. With all of this going on, it's no wonder that we can clam up and not know what to say at all!
I guess the thing to remember is that everyone feels that way sometimes. Maybe when you see someone you would like to get to know, you could just try talking to them about something really casual and general, like the weather, or something in the news, or whatever. Just see it as a chat, nothing more than that. Try not to go up to the girl with the aim in your mind that you are trying to ask them out. That will instantly make you feel under pressure to say and do the right things. If you just think of it as a casual chat, and try not to have a big expectation of anything more, it might help make it seem less scary. And then things might progress along naturally.
I think there are lots of books and websites out there, offering advice and tips on how to overcome shyness. But from my own experiences, I think that the main part is facing it head on. So even though you feel shy, try and do it anyway. Try not to let your shyness hold you back from talking to people. I know this is really hard. And it will stay hard for a while. But if you carry on regardless of the feelings, after a while it will become less of a big deal, and it will come more naturally. That has been my experience anyway. I hope something helps, good luck. x
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