A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help me here. Im so confused and unsure what to think. Ive liked one of my mates for a long time. And people have always said he liked me. Back then there was no way we could be together (i wont go into detail but none of that matters now) Ever since we;ve got on better and had a few nights where various things have happened such as playfighting, cuddling etc We've never kissed although neither of us would even dare. Also when he was looking after me when i wasnt feeling well he started holding my hand. in all fairness i was all over him hugging him and stuff that night and he hugged me when i got home and had his hands on my bum.Thing is i cant win. Im very shy and so is he, we struggle to talk a lot of the time. But sometimes hes fine and will talk to me and start conversations. Other times he wont and he just talks to the other because they;re easier! Its like a few of us went out and he told one of them he'd love to talk to me but how can he when i wont look at him. When to be fair how can i talk to him when he makes no effort back.I honestly feel theres a strong thing between us, there always has been. mnay people have said its obvious but hes just too shy, they've also said they think he likes me so much or that hes in love with me. EXCELLENT if he is but how is this ever going to get started. he even asked if there was anyone i liked at my new uni and commented on the fact he thought me and my mates bf was flirting(only messing around) And people said hes checking to see him i still like him or hes worried.Hes not a talking person so i cant just tell him outright(+if it went wrong it would wreck me) Please dont make me go into it because i will be here all day but just telling him outright will not work as he wont talk about it.Another thing thats confused me is when him and my mate thats been out with us in the past have been talking he said "i like her" But we just dont know if he means that as in he likes me as a friend or more than a friend. I think if something happened like that night he cuddled me and was fighting with me it could happen if we both took it further but he started all that. We dont meet up alone we always go out with other friends and ive tried to get him out alone and only once he came and he was so quiet it was unreal so thats just not worth a ago.So what can i do just to try and get things going or get him more comfortable?? just hints or things
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): hey, seems like you are in a sticky situation! chin up :) In general i think that obviously you two have a strong connection with each other, but are both worried about making the first move. Dont use or listne to friends telling you what he thinks about you, or this can all get very confusing, but it sounds like he does indeed like you but perhaps doesn't want to mess things up, make a fool of himself, or perhaps he does not want a relationship in case it goes wrong.
I think what you need to do is BE BRAVE, firstly start to talk to him more, get things into a comfortable stage. perhaps go out a few times with just a small group of friends, or even just you two! Make sure he feels confident too that you like him, and even if he is being offish don't be the stubborn one waiting for him to talk first :) Then, hopefully after things seem more at ease, ask him straight out no complications if he likes you..more than a friend. And that you have feelings for him. And tell him how you feel, and explain that whatever might happen you always want to be his friend.
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