A
female
age
36-40,
*issingyou
writes:I had been with my ex for 9 years but we have broken up so many times because she's cheated. She was making a great effort for 9 months but I was rude to her and miss treated her and she took it all. Well she had time away from me because of her job and she became distant with me and it was affecting our relationship and I would always threaten to leave and she would beg me to stay. We lived together and her friends stayed over for about 2 weeks in which she really neglected me. She even acted like she didn't care and I know it's because her friends were there. We fought for the last time and I left. I miss more than I can bear with myself. I would do anything to get her back. I know that I am not the only to blame here because there were things she did that hurt me but I want to put everything the past.We just came to an agreement that we will try to start fresh that we both appreciate each other like a healthy relationship would. My concern is that she said lets just see where this takes us and it worries me is that anything can happen and I don't want to loose her. What can I do to make this work?
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female
reader, missingyou +, writes (9 September 2010):
missingyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the great advice! I just found out she is getting deployed in less than a month... Someone else told about it and she is not playing on telling me until 2 weeks from now... She is trying with me as I am with her... I don't know what to think...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): I think it's really hard to go back and try again. If you're willing to try though, I just say show her that you appreciate her. LOVE her. Not just saying, "I love you," but acting like you LOVE and appreciate her like doing little nice things and such. Also, don't bring up the past, especially if you argue (and all couples disagree sometimes, so that's not a problem, just don't bring the past into the future). Communicate. Make sure you both talk about things that bother you as well as what you like - the good and the bad. Keep communication lines open.
By all rights she should be doing the same.
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