A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I have already asked loads of questions here but I thought I'd keep going since I seem to be on a roll.I'm a 17 year old college student, I love college, both academically and on the social side of things. However, I am a very shy person and I don't make friends easily. I have been in college since September and I have only one friend, me best friend from school. She has made lots of friends and I spend time with them too and call them my friends, but I haven't made any friends of my own. I am just known as her friend, not as me, if I am making sense. I need to have more confidence to make friends, but I just don't know how I can do this.And I've never even had a boyfriend. I am way to shy to talk to guys, and I know it sounds horrible but the only time I seem to have confidence is when I'm drinking. And even then I'm still not confident enough to go anywhere near guys I like, even when they are interested in me (which is almost never), I suppose I just don't want to make a fool of myself. What can I do to make myself more open to new friends and/or guys?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): Hi, I don't really know if my answer will help much, I just wanted to tell you to not worry too much, because i know exactly how you feel, i've been through this, and in september last year i moved to a new place, and i was terrified it was going to be even worse. But I met a group of girls, and they just let me in and it was just really lucky. But it made me learn that being shy will get you nowhere, i know it's hard, very hard, and everyone around you is talking, and you're thinking, well what can I say? And you just have nothing to say do you? Basicly you shouldn't have to think up something to say, or worry what might sound silly, you need to go with whatever you feel like doing, and to be honest, when you make a fool of yourself (depending of course) most of the time people like you more, find you funny, you don't have to be perfect all the time, live a little!! i'm also definately more confident when i've been drinking, thats just the way things are sometimes, but don't get yourself down ! The way i got most confidence was going out with my girls, we go out almost every friday, even if you feel you might not enjoy it, keep at it and you will gain more confidence ! And maybe try including yourself in things without this bestfriend of yours sometimes? Be you, and not 'thingy's friend'. Be more independant, and i'm sure things will work out for you. I hope i helped a little bit!
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