A
female
age
36-40,
*unshine88
writes:I dont know what to think about this. My husband got a new job and has been doing this for a month now. His schedule was nice 6.5 hrs a day 6 days a week which is a little over full time. Its exhausting work and he is not supplied with the proper tools to perform his duties. He is working with cement and having to lift these 110lbs bags 10-20-30 at a time. He is the only one working he has no help. The pallet these lay on are 30 on each pallet and he does not have a forklift. So he is emptying the pallet just to stack them back up in the buyers truck. When if he had a forklift he could just place it up there and it would be done. I beleive this is insane and wrong and abusive in ways. He worked there a month with no forklift when his boss said from the begining he would get one eventually. He is 22 years old strong as an ox and his back has begun to hurt. I have tried to help him by making sure he is bending his knees when lifting, giving him massages, running him a hot bath, not having him do too much at home so he can relax and try to get his back to feeling better. On top of having to lift this amount of weight daily with no forklift. He has no shelter no shade at all and we live where it is already 90+ degrees and the sun is extremely intense. He is not supplied shelter,air conditioning, water or even a bathroom. Its just a dirt lot. He knows the people that own the restaurant next door so they allow him inside and offer food and bathroom, so he is lucky he knows them. He sits in his truck throughout the day to stay out of the sun and heat. Imagine if he had no car...where would he get out of the sun? I have not liked this since day one but its a good job pays well and hes tough so hes stuck with it. Yesterday his boss asked him to stay from 6 am to 4 pm 6 days a week. That would total 48 hrs a week. Of course the money would be better. But i found this extremely disturbing and got upset at his boss for asking. The boss has other lots and they have multipule employees, buildings, restrooms and of couse they have forklifts. So his boss is asking him to be there 8-9 hrs a day with no forklift, no shelter, no bathroom or water when it is only going to get hotter outside. And he left at 1pm so the sun was not as bad as it gets later in the day.If he had shelter and a forklift I would not be so upset. But i find it crazy that someone would expect ONE singel person to handle all this by themselves. did you know lifting 15 of those bags would total over 1000lbs to lift. 15 bags has been the average buy and its not like hes taking his time. He lifting these bags withing 10-15 mins. Another thing the boss had another worker come to drop off a new pallet of cement and the guy just came and said "here you go im going to get lunch". My husband had to unload this pallet of 30 bags all by himself and place them on the ground to another pallet. If he had a forklift he would just take it down from the truck. He cannot throw the bags down b/c they will bust he has to move them get off the truck and then pick them and take to another pallet. So with his boss asking him to stay longer and not offering any more tools we had a discussion about it and from the begining i have said no you will not do it. and explained my reasons and actually brought things up that he had not even thought of. You can see i think from my info above im not happy and do not want my husband doing these things. but today he brought it up during one of our phone coversations and asked what i thought i said " i think you should book it" and asked if he has been reconsidering. He snapped at me and said "you just want me to suck it up and do this dont you" and i calmly said no i just said that i want you to quit ("book it") and he said "you know what i cant talk to you ive got to let you go" i said "maybe listen to me and you wont think of me as such a bad person wanting you work such a crazy hard job" click we hung up. My question i guess stems from some history... He has bad dreams about me that make me look like a bad person, he does not believe my word on a lot of topics and must find proof himself, He calls me out in front of others that embarasses me and even does this about private topics, he brings up my past and constantly criticizes me about it and really i feel like hes just does not see what kind of girl he has. There is so much more to it but to keep it short he does not trust me, does not think im a good wife to him and he calls me all sorts of names. I think its obvious that i care about him. and that i want the best for him and I dont want him doing things if its going to hurt him even if it is good money. Recently he has fixed my dryer that has been broken for a few months and i find that he kind of throws that in my face. Like saying i treat you good i fix your dryer, im working hard for you, i bring you food sometimes, I buy you things. But he also called me names, constantly brings up my past relationships (been together since 16), has told me i need to work on my parenting skills in a very ugly way, if we see a good looking guy on TV he asks me if he is good looking and if i dare to say yes it will haunt me forever has told me sooooo many things that are really rude and wrong and untrue. So he thinks he does all these things and buys these things for me and he is the best husband b/c of that. But i am emotionally abused and feel unloved many many days of my life. Dont get me wrong we have great times and are very happy alot of times. But when things dont go his way or he is stressed it seems to come out on me. And he is claerly not listening to me... he said the complet oposite of what i said when I asked about if he has been reconsidering the job. Please people tell me from my story here do i seem to care about my husband? What can i do different to make him realize I do? Do i seem like I want him to work this crazy job? Did what I say seem like i want him to? I feel hopeless like i'll never be able to satisfy him and make him feel my love :( i dont know what to think or do and i feel like he does not like me and thinks im out to get him or thinks that i dont care what he does and i would let him work a job like this when he does not have to. (I can support us financially with no problem) Please any opinions/advice thank you!!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2011): Wow. Guess you had to vent. Take it back to basics. Give him a day off of his problems and don't present him with any. Listen to him without offering your opinion. the 3 Bs always is a great stress relief (beef beer BJ). The following week while he's raging about it tell him its your turn next.
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