A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've recently started having a friends with benefits kind of relationship with a guy I met through an internet dating site. It's a really good arrangement in most ways since we both just got out of really serious relationships and just want a little bit of company with no strings. He's had sex with one girl (not his significant ex) before and I'm a virgin (though I've done everything else)Thing is, he can't seem to keep it up for long enough for us to actually do anything, nor does he come when I give him a hand job or a blow job even after trying for absolutely ages. I thought it might be a problem that he had to wear a condom as he never has before but he said he doesn't think that's it, he just doesn't know what it is.I always tell him it's ok and it doesn't matter and I do mean that but at the same time, I'm worried that because of my lack of experience I should be doing something more to "help him"Any thoughts?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 August 2009):
Maybe he feels that taking a girl's virginity just because she wants a bit of "comfort" after breaking up with her ex is not the kind of person he is.
To have casual sex and remain friends and not get feelings is something that you need to have experience for, so you recognise any feelings and can act to squash them rather than get hurt.
If he's inexperienced then he may just find it hard to keep it up over a girl who just wants sex from him for the sake of a bit of fun. He may just want a girlfriend that he can love, rather than you who's going to dump him when something better comes along / not be bothered when he cuts contact because he's found a girl he actually wants to be with.
It also may be the condoms a little bit. If it is then tell him to wear them when he wanks off at home so he can get used to them.
No condom = No sex. Especially since he admits he's had unprotected sex before.
Good Luck!! xx
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