A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some girlie advice, I have been seeing this amazing guy for about two months and we have just snogged and touched each other, I want to give him pleasure but as I have never done this before I need some advice. How do I start it, should I use condoms or not? Should we talk about it first? What should I expect? Any help would be great. I am quite shy and I always get the giggles when ever we kiss, so I don't want to make a fool of my self, I just want it to be good.
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female
reader, Caucasian Asian  +, writes (8 March 2009):
 I am assuming that when you say, "I have never done this before", that you are a virgin.
The majority of the women I have talked to say, "that it hurt like crazy".
My experience was a little different. The first guy I was with was lacking in the endowment area. The first time I had to ask if he was "in". The second one, on the other hand was "larger than life" in that area. The second one hurt like hell and I bled all over everywhere. I guess the first piece of advice I would give you is; have a towel near or under you.
The condom issue..........yes and always until you are both tested and in a committed relationship. You will hear a lot complaints and excuses why they (men) don't or can not use them. Don't let them get away with it. The best one you will hear is, "I cannot feel as much with one on." If the excuse is, "I am allergic to latex" they make some really nice ones that do not have latex. Don't use animal intestine because they are not as effective at preventing pregnancy.
I would inform the guy that you have never been physically intimate with another guy. This could make a big difference. If he is an understanding person, then he might want to plan something really special for your first time. It also informs them to be much more gentle since it is your first time.
The information you are really looking for. Keep in mind that sex is not such a serious thing. Remember to laugh and have fun. Things do not always happen the way you plan. You will have situations that can either frustrate you or make you laugh. The way you handle it can help you and your partner. I tend to talk during sex. I don't have conversations regarding his childhood but I do tend to ask if it is "working" for them. The number one thing that will help you is if you talk to them. Tell them if a certain position is not comfortable for you (in terms of hurting you).
I ask a lot of questions when I am with someone regarding what they do or don't like. I do this before, during and after intimacy. Men vary as much as women do. Just as men can not read our minds, we (women) can not read men's minds. He might request for you to do something that you are not comfortable with, since you do not have any experience in that area, I would not completely shut out the request. You might tell them that you are not comfortable with the idea right now but you can discuss it to see if you will be more comfortable with it in the future. An example of this situation years ago. My older sister, whom was still a virgin, got married and confronted me with a situation she had. She never received or performed oral sex before. She was not comfortable with the idea in either situation. I informed her that she really could not judge whether she liked or dislike something until she tried it. She was a little selfish though. She let him go down on her but she would not return the favor. But she tried some of it and realized that she really loved receiving cunnilingus.
Things you can do to please him......Most men like oral sex. If you want to learn how to perform better, there are videos and information online. I will be willing to talk to you person to person but not where everyone see what I am writing. One of the biggest turn-ons for men is flirting and enticing before the actual action.
Just keep in mind that sex does get better with time. It tends get better and more intense as the feelings for that person grows. Remember to relax and enjoy the moment don't get caught-up in the small things. Laughter is a good remedy for lots of awkward situations.
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Heyaa
I found sex was alot better talking it over with my boyfriend before i did it.
Experiment with each other first and find out what each other likes. Something that drives my boyfriend crazy is when i kiss his neck and chest.
Be in control, most boys find this attractive.
Don't be scared about doing anything, but make sure your completely ready for it.
DO USE CONDOMS. I know they are a pain but they do protect you from Pregnancy and STI :) They are veryy useful little things so do use one. I suggest feather line, i've found they are better for you and your boyfriend.
Good luck honey and make sure your ready. Enjoy yourself!
Livia
x
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