A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my husband 15 years and married for 11.. I have no feelings for him at all anymore and as i think honestly i dont think i ever really Loved him as a wife should love her husband... i married him when i was 31... out of 11 years i probably have been happy for 1 of those years... I don't care about him and i Def. dont love him..he doesnt act like a husband at all! he blames it on his mom walking out when he was 5! did i mention hes 45 now? Can We Say "GET OVER IT!! ... he cant even hold an adult conversation and always depends on my smarts to get us thru! I want OUT! OUT! OUT!!! of this marriage but im afraid i will be punished by the man upstairs! :( I have never been sooo miserable and depreesed and unhappy in my life i feel like im in prison! i can no longer be with someone i dont like love or care for... Everything he does is starting to turn me off completely! this is all starting to take it's toll on me and affect my health and attitude... We both have kids but none together! Thank You Jesus!!! oh yeah and i always Pray about the situation and since then we have lost everything!! could that be my answer or is it a test for greater things?? I cant go on like this!! Can somone Please help me!!...I need STRONG ADVICE!! PLEASE!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):
You get a divorce.God will understand right?
Ok I think you are in a midlife crises.
My wife did the same thing.She would not listen to anyone.
She had to find herself.
She bails on me and the kids.Oh she said I never loved you after 17 years. I'm tired of being a mother and wife.she saids Oh God I need out of this, it is like a prison.
Next is to find the love of your life fantasy.Have multiple affairs.Because after all I deserve to be happy.
Let me help you see into the future.
The guy you are hoping to get will dump you and you will be a lonly bitter women.Blaming men for your unhappiness.
Match.com and others are loaded with old women that dumped their husbands and are sorting through everyones else's cast offs.
I know some will say to me it must have struck a cord, keep your comments to yourself.
Remember you asked 'I need STRONG ADVICE!! PLEASE!!!!
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (15 December 2009):
 Hun, your first step is to tell your husband how you feel and that you want to separate..
Your husband is probably blissfully unaware that you are so unhappy so its fair to tell him whats going on.
then give yourself time to come to terms with being alone, then file for divorce.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): obviously this marriage has no chance to continue like this. My advice is seperate asap and live your own individual lives before it is too late for both of you.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 December 2009):
 Considering your spiritual inclination, my strong advice is this:
God does not want you to be unhappy, and remember that "God helps those who help themselves." Go see your pastor, priest, rabbi or whatever, and I think that you will hear much the same. You have only one life on earth and you must make the best of it. Do what you must do even if it is difficult at first - then the difficult times will eventually be in your distant past. Best wishes to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): if you have learned anything from the bible it should be that jesus does not punish us... we punish ourselves.
i am not saying jump on the divorce train, but you def need to get out and be on your own. At least so you and your husband can find a way through this, (whether that be divorce or continue the marriage).
This my dear is a two way street. You have stayed unhappy due to your own fault. ( i am assuming you have not tried counseling or trying different forms of communication)... I am not yelling at you but, we stay unhappy by choice (generally).
my advise is simple-- follow your heart, get out and get on your own for a while and see things from a different view.
i believe what your are saying is "the marriage cant go on like this"... you need to say that to him, not to us. Does he know any of this? Have you stated how unhappy you were all these years? even once? (just playing devils advocate)
But seriously, all those years in a marriage unhappy? I serously doubt it. if you were completely appalled by him and all his actions, you would not be on here. You would be looking for a place to live.
i would be happy to chat with you more if you want you can pm me. take care
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