A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend can talk a lot to me about the guys at work, his interests, and things he wants to do. I listen and ask him questions when he does I truly want to know about his life.But when I want to talk about people I go to school with, my interests, and things that I want to do. He doesn't ask me many questions or add much to the conversation except for 1 or 2 words. unless I'm in danger or somebody is harassing me. Then he will ask a billion questions He grew up around mostly girls and I grew up around mostly boys. (I don't know if that has much to do with it)I don't know if this has anything to do with it but I know a lot of men don't listen unless we get to the point. Maybe he is genuinely not interested. But I want healthy communication. He tries sometimes but others he will flat out tell me he is not interested. I try not telling him those conversations that are reserved for girlfriends.Another thing I notice is when he talks to his dad his dad ignores him.What can I do to encourage him to be interested in what I am saying?
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 March 2015):
 I don't know about his mom here. Maybe he inherited his mom's need to talk but inherited his dad's poor listening skills. Sibling order somehow has an effect on how you treat others. The oldest one is usually the talkative one. The youngest one gets a lot of pampering while the middle one gets forgotten sometimes.
I don't think he sees his life as more important than yours, at least not consciously. If he grew up with sisters it meant his role is to be the protective one. Maybe in his family there was a lot of yacking going on with on one really listening. Talking is a way of getting it out of one's system, but not as a way of sharing. Mom and dad were overwhelmed with responsibilities so no one really learned how to communicate properly, at all.
It's not about getting to the point, otherwise he wouldn't be talking so much.
It's not that he doesn't care, unless he keeps on forgetting what you said and you have to remind him. I am not sure if he's not interested. Maybe you two have different responding styles.
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