A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure what's wrong with me right now, but as it doesn't seem to be getting any better I thought I'd see if anyone else has been through something similar and what you did about it.I'm 24 years old and my studies just don't interest me anymore. I find it hard to get involved in my work or even concentrate on it. It seems pointless and part of me would much rather curl up at home and become a hermit while another part of me would like drop everything and escape to see the world. I feel trapped here, in this place and in what I do. As a teenager I thought I had endless options - in life and in love. But now I feel restricted and can't help thinking I've made some wrong choices somewhere along the way. I make a lot of bad choices, like I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years. I got out of it about a year ago now but I still feel completely drained. I seem to shy away from any kind of difficulty or stress, which is really affecting my work and life. What can I do to be normal and motivated again?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): Well, you are certainly not alone with how you feel. I often feel the same way. You may be depressed, so it might be worth seeing your doctor and telling them how you feel. At the very least, they can keep an eye on you and make sure you don't feel any worse.
It sounds to me like you are not really happy with the way your life is at the moment. You say your studies seem "pointless". Do you feel your life is going in a direction you are not happy with? We all make choices we are not happy with, but we can always change things. It may not be easy, and it might take time, but it can be done.
I find it helpful to be very specific about what I want to do. I write down goals, and what steps I need to take to achieve them. It helps me see a way forward, and gives me something to focus on each day. Otherwise, I feel like I am just drifting along. You mentioned feeling trapped, and wanting to escape to see the world. So, does the idea of travelling interest you? Maybe you could plan a trip somewhere. Even if it is not possible right now, you could still work towards it, and it will give you something to focus on.
It might also help to learn some assertiveness skills. That could help you to deal with problems and stressful things in your life, and lead to constructive changes. I had to learn things like that, and it has helped me a lot. There are courses out there which teach these kinds of skills, and many books too. So that might be something else to consider.
I think you need to try and find what it is you really want to do. What makes you feel happy? What brings you pleasure? Is there any way you could make those things a more stronger influence in your life? But I really do think it is important to have things to look forward to, to focus on. Even if it is something small, like looking forward to going for a walk, it is somethng that can get you through difficult times. But like I said before though, if things start to feel very bad, then don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, we need the support of other people, and reaching out can be a positive step in itself.
I hope something here helps. You are not alone though, often for me life feels like a struggle and an effort every day. But stay strong, and try not to give up hope. Take care. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): It sounds to me like your depressed which seems to be caused by your past relationship. By acknowledging that you are depressed will help you get back to normal. Id also say spend time with your mates, having company will make you feel better rather than being on your own focusing on all the negatives in your life. i hope this helps mate.
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