A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had a bad break up with my long term boyfriend and he decided to post a few naked pictures of myself that I've sent to him over the years online. He did this to 'get back at me' even though I did not do anything wrong. I'm very concerned as I no longer trust this man or trust what he might do with certain things like pictures or messages that I've sent him. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2015): Let your father know what he did.Call his mother and let her know what an a***h*** her beloved son is. Only way to deal with bullies is to take them on head on full stop. don't back down
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (4 October 2015):
 It's a civil violation, even if it isn't a criminal one. Check out invasion of privacy laws and contact a lawyer.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 October 2015):
 It would be nice if you lived in one of the states that has legislation against this, perhaps more states will follow with effective revenge porn legislation. One hopes the legislation will have enough clout to make others think twice before they choose to make use of photos given to them in good faith by women who trusted them.
More states are choosing to make this illegal but there are still many yet to get on board.
http://www.omaha.com/news/calif-governor-brown-signs-anti-revenge-porn-bill/article_f1c111dc-15ef-5eab-8a3a-c954c4519bef.html
Here is a list of states where it is illegal:
http://www.cagoldberglaw.com/states-with-revenge-porn-laws/
If you are able to report him to the police in your state then go ahead. If not then at least try to appeal to his better nature. Though I recognize that he may have no better nature.
Please recognise that you should never give in to supplying naked photos of yourself to anyone.
Never to a boyfriend and never to even a husband. Even if they plead for same the answer should be no.
Because you never know where the photos will end up.
In the mean time you can change your hair color and your hair style and hope that will help lessen the chances of someone or a future employer recognizing you. If you work with children and the photos are discovered it could also harm your career.
If you cannot take any action against him and he refuses to stop this then cut all contact with anything to do with him or his friends.
Develop some interests outside of his friend set and concentrate on rebuilding your life with a better class of boyfriend and friends who are in no way associated with the circles that he moves in.
Sadly once photos are on the internet you have no control over who downloads the photos and who stores them where.
This is a huge betrayal.
Very sadly this revenge porn response is done by nasty immature partners with no respect whatsoever for their ex. It is often impossible to get the ex to stop. And even if he chooses to stop the photos will have already been downloaded somewhere in the world.
The good thing is that there 7 billion people in the world and many of them never look at porn.
And in a few years time you will be older and will no longer look like the girl in the photos. I know it will still hurt if the photos remain online but time will result in no one recognizing you in the photos.
Are you close enough to anyone in his family where you could appeal to them to intervene on your behalf about his nasty actions?
Revenge porn is so very distressing and so very unfair that you can see why states have had to bring in legislation to address this growing problem.
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