A
female
age
30-35,
*PF
writes:I broke up with my ex at the end of last november after two and a half years together, it had been going hill for a few months and he had done badly in his exams which made him basically initiate the split. I was hurt and distraught as to the fact that it had ended as he was my best friend and was such a big part of my life.Yet after a few weeks I decided I could not still have him as part of my life without getting hurt and I needed to move on, so i basically removed him, from my phone, facebook everything. So there was no way of my contacting him. I was single for the first time since I was 15, I've gotten with a few guys, had a few flings and I've heard through mutual friends that he has as well. I've made no effort to contact him yet he has at various times, the first was the day before christmas and he texted me saying he missed me, the next day christmas day he spoke to my friend asking her if id gotten with anyone else and he wanted to no so he could move on. He tried to add me back on facebook that that but I rejected it. Then when he came back from his christmas vacation I get a call from him asking for his stuff back and I eventually pick up and we end up talking about whats happened and I tried to be strong and tell him I was moving on and he sounded hurt and he said 'he thought it would be different' but I stuck to my guns. On various occassions hes asked for the money for his stuff as I actually threw his stuff out. But hes hurt me so much and apparently has become a sleeze bag. Ive told him I wont be giving him anything. Now ive only seen him twice since we broke up and the most recent time was when we went to a mutual frinds birthday party two days ago. I was really drunk and ended up dancing with other guys right infront of his face, which i didnt think he would mind. But I could tell he was looking at me and he didnt look all that happy throughout the whole night. He then left 30 minutes before the party ended, to go home maybe or to go to a girls house.. who knows??. But after I had been so strong for 4 months I now find myself thinking about him and us, and if we could have made it through. What we had was special but I no deep down he isn't right for me. But I sit here wondering if he ever thinks about me anymore or misses me. I feel like i miss us and him. I cant believe I feel like this all of a sudden after all this time because I genuinely don't like him as a person anymore, hence why i decided not to stay friends with him. I just find it really sad that after two and a half years we act like stangers to one another. Its upsetting me and I don't no what to do. I have supportive parents and friends who tell me i'm better off without him yet I cant get my head around it. I feel like i've been ignoring whats happened for too long and not fully accepting the actual situation. I dont no how to give closure to it when I have so many questions in my own mind about him and whats happened.
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