A
age
30-35,
*
writes: Dear cupids, its so hard for me to keep a relationship. Before I started dating I hated men because of my father and dating hasn't changed a lot especially when they ask for help like money sometimes. I feel they want to use me because I am from a wealthy home and a lot of other things. I myself believe I have some issues because they keep telling me I have a bad attitude and I know I am an arrogant person. I have tried to help me self with this pride issues but am not better. Its more like I don't know when am doing it, I can't control myself and when am done, I calm down. I feel i'd never find a good relationship if I continue with this attitude but I have tried and I do not know what to do anymore. I don't even know why I date, what U need from a relationship. I am so very confused. My present relationship is on the edge of the table because of my attitude. I insult my partner every time. I am not a fan of taking to counsellors. What should I do. My bf keeps telling me i'd never find someone like him. I don't know. I don't like him that much or may be I do but I am not ready to lose him and I am not saying this because he is about to break up with me or something but for the sake of my future relationship with guys. What should I do? Please help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Xearo +, writes (17 December 2012):
You need to see a counsellor, shrink or something because either you have some left over issues which you have never dealt with or you have some sort of hormonal imbalance.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 December 2012):
Sounds to me like you suffer from "Poor little rich girl" syndrome. Unfortunately, the only way for you to address this issue IS for you to seek counselling (which you tell us that you eschew)..... so you face an enigma.... i.e.
Either, you get counselling and hope that this problem can be addressed and (hopefully) disappear, or,
You continue on as you have in the past,... and - predictably - will in the future... and have a miserable rest-of-your-life....
The choice is your's....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 December 2012):
You have two options:
1.) Go get counseling.
2.) Keep ruining your relationships until you find a dominant guy that can control you. There is some guy out there who's personality will be a perfect match for you, you just have to look.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (16 December 2012):
Some people simply can not change who they are or there personality. As for hating men well these are issues from your father, and you cannot judge all men by what he has done in his life. Easier said than done yes but it is something you need to accept and move forward from.
You don't seem to bothered about your boyfriend, which tells me you are not allowing yourself to enjoy the relationship. Have you ever been in love with a man before? Or allowed yourself to enjoy a relationship? I doubt it as to me it sounds like you don't even want to be in a relationship.
It is clear you cannot help yourself, a counsellor can help if you are willing to be honest and to listen. You say you do not like counsellors but can you honestly say you have tried your best with one?
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