A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My brother has had a fight with his wife and a few days ago he came to my place demanding that I let him stay for a couple of days until he goes back to her and tries to smooth things over. The thing is this kind of thing happens every f***ing MONTH! I find it faintly ridiculous; it seems to me that they have a very troubled relationship. My brother’s 50 years old (there’s 20 years between us due to him and I having different mothers) yet he behaves like a child when he’s over at mine, he expects me to take on the role of his spouse while they’re both having time away from each other. It really annoys me because when he’s around it’s virtually impossible for my partner and I to make love and be merry – he show he’s dislike for Rob by watching him very closely when he and I are together and butting into our conversation with snide comments – once we caught him deliberately listening into our private chats behind our bedroom door, Rob was furious and chucked him out but he made such a racket that we had to let him back in because the neighbours were complaining. Whenever I try to talk things over with him and say that I’m getting sick of it all, he always switches on his natural charm, it’s hard not to throw out such an attractive personality.He always seems to give me a nod and smile subtly with a subdued joy shining forth when he knows whats coming.God … don’t even know what to do at the moment …
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Hi Hunny
You need to kick your bro's arse into shape, Now I love my brother to bits and we get on like a house on fire he does live in the u.k though and I dont so that maybe why :} No seriously though my brother used to fight with his wife all the time and she was and is a lovely person but they are divorced now and im not supprised really...He used to come over to me and Id do everything for him... HE WOULD STAY LONGER THAN PLANNED AS WE DID HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!!BUT!!!!!!!!!This carried on the channel isnt long enough!!!:} And in the end as big as he is Ive got our mums temper and I told him straight, Oh his charm didnt work with me it may work with the girls but im oblivious to it!!!!
Sweetheart you have the right to your privacy and you have the right to do what you wish in your home and if this is happening every month as you say then its like a bloody holiday for him eh!!!!!!WELL TELL HIM SPAIN IS NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR!!! Be strong and dont let him get away with sly comments to your Rob cheeky git!!!!YEA U CAN LOVE EM!!!!And they no! So send him back to his poor wife BLESS HER!!!! And get your sanity back sweetheart TAKE CARE WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Tell him this is the last time, He needs counselling, he is treating you like his Mum and enacting the role of a teenager.
Assert your needs. I would be tempted to say something along the lines that all the while he thinks he has you to bolt to, he doesn't have to really sort his own relationship out. You find this not acceptable and you are not going to enable him to dodge things any more. It is also damaging to your own love life and relationship. I am sure he would not want to cause you and your man problems? If you explain that this is the last time for a while he can perpare another plan in case he needs one for future use. If he still does not listen and turns up, say you have plans (which you will have whether it is a quiet dinner in together and a film or whatever) and send him home. Or say if it still still bad in a week come back. Etc. Just be honest.
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