A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been together for a while...I'm a virgin, but he is not. We want to have sex and are ready, but everytime we have tried it really hurts me. I know it's supposed to hurt some the first time, but this is pretty bad...and he can only get in so far before the pain becomes unbearable...We have tried lubricants, but it just hasn't helped..is something wrong with me, or is there anything that can make this easier?
View related questions:
lubricant Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (8 January 2008):
You really can't run away from the pain no matter how many hours of foreplay you do or lube you use simply because it's your 1st time.So the only solution is to just bear the pain.You won't die,that i can promise you.It'll hurt for a while but the pain will go away and you'll feel much better.The longer you take,the more anxious you become.Next time don't stop and just try to be brave.No matter how many more years you wait,the pain will be there on your 1st time sex.Unless you are one the very few that loses their hymen without any pain.
Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help everyone...
For the one who asked...he's about 8 inches
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Foreplay!!! Like, for absolutely as long as you can go. Let him make you want him so bad and even come to orgasming several times before he enters you. Tons and tons of lube. My boyfriend said it's impossible (which it is not, but to display the magnitude) to fit inside a virgin. That said, if he fingers you a lot with several fingers and really gets you stretched out (odd to say, I know), it may help.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): About twenty years ago now, my girlfriend at the time suffered a similar problem to yours.
Her solution was to tip her pelvis sort of forward and up (I was on top), thus enabling a better angle for penetration.
HOpe that helps - and don't give up trying! Sex really is the best fun with someone you love.
(Another thought; how well endowed is your fellow? If he's over-sized, that could be the root of your problem right there.)
...............................
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (7 January 2008):
Historically the pain of first intercourse (for a girl) has been associated with tearing her hymen. I've been told that some women have very strong hymens, and ask a physician to open it for them. It's said to be a quick, easy and almost painless procedure. Supposedly, you can ask the doctor to leave you partially intact so you and your B/F can still experience the sensation of rupturing your hymen.
Recently some folks claim the pain of first insertion comes more from the vaginal muscles being stretched. Those who subscribe to this theory suggest that bringing you to orgasm just before attempting penetration will minimize your discomfort. And a glass of wine - ONE glass, no more - might help, too.
This subject has been discussed before on this forum. One recent thread is called "First time - painful?", found here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-time---painful.html
I described my own experience with a virgin girl (and I was a virgin guy) in the thread "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night...", found here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html
Do a little internet research and you'll find the pain of first intercourse varies from "none at all" to "pretty intense", and it lasts anywhere from "a second or two" to "every time we had sex for several weeks". The "average" seems to be that it hurts less than getting your ears pierced, and you won't notice any real pain after the 2nd or 3rd time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so we do warm up for a long time...we've even tried oral before hand...I get as wet as I can be...it still hurts.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): I wouldn't know what to say because my first time (a year ago) was just like that. What we did? Tried and tried until one day it just happened naturally without pain or obstacles. We tried one day and then let two days pass and then tried again and then let two pass and finally the day came and I was suprised to experiment 'it' completely for the first time in my life. We tried like five or six times before it finally happened. Anyways is always better to wait until you are married.
...............................
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Definately doesn't sound like you are warmed up enough! More foreplay...
...............................
A
male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Foreplay. Let him 'losen' you up with tongue and fingers, this will not only get you used to having...things...in there but also will turn you on and make you wet, just get as aroused as possible before trying, and just take it slow, and make sure hes gentle :P
...............................
|
