A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this might be an obvious question. However, I'm still quite unsure myself. I think I 'rejected' a guy but I'm not too sure..if that makes sense? He always used to flirt with me but then always act a bit funny with me. As in he'd awkward but without me actually knowing the reason(s) why this was the case. But anyway, his intention was never actually quite clear. I always used to think why is he flirting with me and then acting awkward with me afterwards. So basically, I just assumed he just wanted to flirt with me and that's it. However, I didn't want that because I didn't wanna flirt with him, but just talk normally.He doesn't talk to me now though :/. Don't get why. I think it's because I rejected him. He shows signs of this. He ignores me when I try and be friendly and have a normal conversation.Why can't he just accept the fact that I DON'T want to flirt?? Does this guy genuinely like me? Or does he just want to get into my pants? So basically what I'm asking is, what examples of behaviour suggests that a guy feels rejected by a girl??Thanks.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 He flirted with you to grab your attention because yes he liked you and it was his way of trying to show you that, however that is not what you wanted, which would have been clear by your body language and answers so he felt awkward afterwards, but he kept trying and realised that he was getting no where so he has now just decided to stop trying and move on. Maybe he needs some space away from you right now to get over his feelings for you, so if you are not interested in him in a romantic way then just let him go.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (4 January 2012):
Hi there. What needs to happen here is for you to both be on the same page as each other.
Maybe he would like to date you - but he is shy - so flirting is how he gauges whether you are interested or not - by your reaction.
And because you don't want to flirt and he does, he sees that as you not being interested in him in the romantic sense.
And so he feels slightly rejected. It's more of a misunderstanding, that's all.
That seems clear.
What it really comes down to is whether you want to be a friend to him - or a girlfriend, as he seems to hint at wanting.
If this can be clarified in some way, well then you can both move forward in one way or another.
It does seem like the flirting is pointing towards him liking you. Can you see that?
Men don't usually flirt with women they aren't interested in. They flirt only with the women they are interested in.
So you can take that as a sign that he is.
If you are interested in him in that way, well then at least talk with him as friends, being kind and respectful so he knows you see him as a friend at least.
Being friends is usually how most relationships begin.
Your way of meeting a man might be different to his way of meeting a woman. It doesn't mean his way is wrong - just different.
I believe he is shy, and that's just his way of showing he is interested in a girl.
So perhaps just be friendly and respectful towards him, so he knows you do like him and want to get to know him.
When he flirts and you want to be serious, he might feel a little foolish, so then he steps back a little.
You have also said that his intention didn't seem clear to you, so that makes it difficult for him also.
He doesn't know if you like him or not. It's all guesswork as far as he can see.
The next time he tries to flirt with you, don't tell him to stop, just take it as a compliment and talk about whatever it is you were talking about before that. Or, you could let the flirting by him, lead into that subject or another likely subject in some way - without seeming disrespectful.
The main thing is you don't want him to think you are making fun of him or seeing him as foolish in his attempts to get your attention.
When you get to talk straight after his flirting, that conversation will probably become quite normal and then he will flirt less and less because there will not be that initial awkwardness that most men feel when trying to start up a conversation with a girl they like. Because then, you'll both be over that hurdle of breaking the ice with each other. It will be much more relaxed then.
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