A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all,I need some advice. I really want to know what's wrong with me careerwise.Last year, I studied to become a reporter and did exceptionally well. There was no work when the course finished, so I took a job as a PA. While it's OK as a gapfiller, it's even further confirmation that it's not what I want to do. Basically I'm in a comfortable place, where I complain and eat chocolate to keep myself feeling happy. BUT my spare time outside of work is my own.. I'm not hunting for stories constantly like I once was.I'm a hard worker and consider myself a real people person and a quick learner. I want to sink my teeth into something and challenge myself again.. but I want to be sure I'm putting my heart and soul into the right field for me.Anyway, while I was studying last year, my family and friends told me a light came on inside me. I was working for free through the local paper here and did exceptionally well with my degree. At the time, I was thoroughly enjoying excelling in something! I felt that doing the course helped me proove something to myself.. that I could do well at anything I set my mind to. It really increased my self confidence. Trouble is, now that I've done so well.. there's the pressure of getting into the media industry.. and now that I've had a chance to actually STOP and THINK.. I'm feeling that this isn't for me. I am NOT missing the deadlines, the pressure, the assholes that expect you to be their personal PR person and write boring stories just to line their businesses pockets.. the competition.. the way the industry all-consumes you and all you can ever think about is where your next story's coming from! I was basically working as a reporter last year, covering hard news stories and a variety of others.. so I have a fabulous portfolio of work experience, having thrown myself into this whole-heartedly.I worked for free and was basically exploited by my local newspaper. I was led to believe all year that they would be taking on a graduate once the course was finished and so I did everything in my power to gain brownie points.. WORKWISE, not kissing ass. Turns out it was a load of crap. They hired no one, but apparently have their sites set on the upcoming graduate of this current year.. who apparently has become their new drinking buddy. Nevermind the year of free work I did, I guess that doesn't matter.While everyone thought I was this enthusiastic newcomer last year; secretly I felt like I had lost a part of myself and the way the editors stuffed me around last year has put a bad taste in my mouth. Working so hard ALL THE TIME, I found I was unable to find enjoyment in the simple things in life.. the pressured environment sort of prevented me from being able to stop and smell the roses if you know what I mean. My head constantly felt cluttered and I was always worried about a looming deadline.I'm concerned now about the fact I have no natural desire to enter the profession! Despite winning several awards at the end of my course and applying for journalism jobs madly ever since I finished my study, I actually find myself secretly HOPING they'll not want to interview me.I'm just confused as to why I'm feeling this way. I love writing and I love dealing with people. I'm the sort of person that's great with strangers, I'm able to ask the curly questions in the gentlest possible way and get those juicy quotes reporters are looking for. I did so well last year, but I realise now that it didn't make me happy.. I was just enjoying having something to challenge myself. The thought of entering into such a high-pressured environment fulltime makes me feel like I'm going to suffocate even thinking about it! The crazy hours, the night shifts, the grumpy editors.. not to mention the fact that 99% of what I'll be writing I'll have NO passion for and I know I will find that almost impossible. The words flow out of me like water if I'm interested in the topic, but I seize up like a constipated 90 year old if I have to write about something I don't care about.The great thing about being a student was I could CHOOSE what I wanted to write.. AND I wrote in the comfort of my own home. I found during my internships that I couldn't function in a newsroom.. surrounded by people.. the ideas would just drain from my head!I've just had an influx of news agencies get back to me and now I have interviews coming out my ears. I want to scream! I've been asked to attend an interview next week where I'll be living in a town of 10,000, paid miniumum wage (half what I'm earning as a PA).. and I'll be expected to focus my writing on a specific topic, which I HATE! I'm actually considering accepting it if I'm offered this.. despite how I'm feeling. It's like I'm too afraid to let everyone around me down..or that my inner feelings are wrong! I'm also afraid that if being a reporter isn't for me.. then I'm back to the drawing board and I still have NO clue what I'm supposed to do with my life!I'm afraid too that I lack ambition and that this means I'm lazy.. OR could it be an anxiety I have about entering a new profession that's clouding my judgement? I just feel like I want to run the other way.. that I would not enjoy the role at all.Working under high pressure and tight deadlines with extremely cynical people for half my current hourly rate and twice the politics isn't my idea of living life to the fullest... and at least my current job allows me the time and space to be MYSELF outside of work.. it doesn't consume me the way reporting does.What are your thoughts? Am I succumbing to pressure? Do you think I'm just lazy and lacking drive? Do you think I sound more like the type of person that should look for another career, but try my hand at authoring a book on the side? I could see myself doing that without ANY fear. It's just the thought of being trapped in a newsroom, being a slave to deadlines and being forced to write about things I hate ALL the time.. and I'm pretty realistic.. that's how it would be. Junior reporters get ALL the crap to write that no one else wants to do.I am still freelancing on the side at the moment and think maybe I have the best of both worlds because I'm in more control of how I spend my time and most importantly what I get to write..What are your thoughts? Thanks heaps everyone.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): You should go independent! If you like working on your own, without the pressure, b.s. and politics of working in the office, follow the story ideas that have been kicking around in the back of your brain, and do it yourself.
Financially, you may need to work a stupid job - (restaurants are great for these) to feed you while you are working on your story. You may use the job as a research opportunity. For example, if you are focusing on illegal immigration, a restaurant job is great. If you have an environmental bent, get a job working as a park ranger and write on the job. If you don't need the money, get in the car, or on the bike, go cross-country and write the great American novel. Or the great American documentary. Now is the time.
The news industry is in total turmoil right now. Working a traditional news job is going to be competitive, low-pay and ultimately dead-end. If you want to stay in reporting, find a format and a venue that works for you. Make a documentary, a short film, an investigative series and post it on YouTube, a blog or whatever works best for your format.
Work in short spurts. Write for 20 minutes each day. You'll be astonished with how much you can do in that time.
Good luck and knock 'em dead!
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