A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am pregnant and tempted to have an unassisted pregnancy/birth ... I've never liked doctors or hospitals and I'm very much a control freak and a free living hippy all in one. :) I trust my body and i don't want someone to take away my control, particularly someone i already don't like and don't trust. :( Pregnancy is not a medical condition - its life - its what i was designed to do. I would be interested on your thoughts on the matter and whether you think i could perhaps reach a middle ground so i know the kids okay, i'm not completely daft and i know some pregnant woman can has serious unknown health conditions that could affect everything. Maybe if i go for limited check ups and go through with a unassisted homebirth - better than nothing i suppose?!? I may change my mind later but right now these are my thoughts and feelings on the subject - am i wrong to want to take control and limit what others order me to do?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 January 2010):
You say pregnancy is not a medical condition, it's just life.
But you seem to think life is some wonderful magical fairly tale.
It's not. It's survival of the fittest and involves a LOT of death.
Have a look at mortality rates for mothers giving birth unassisted in the 3rd world. They aren't great. If you tear, and start bleeding then you have 3 minutes to get help before you die. Since ambulances take an average of 7 minutes, your baby is going to be found cold, in a pool of your blood. And your family is going to have to come in and get the carpet cleaned as they deal with your house. That's just assuming it's you that has the problem, if your baby has a problem then how are you going to feel if it dies because you live a fair old distance from the hospital, or worse has to live a life of disability.
Home births are an amazing wonderful idea. But you can't do it alone. You NEED a safety net.
You can be in control but please please please please have a safety net for the kid.
As far as I know, they assign you a midwife early on and you get to know / trust her through the 9 months so it's not a stranger.
Or you could go private, and have it all your way with the staff working for you.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): I would visit a website dedicated to this subject and see if you can chat with other women who have experienced greater control during birth or home births and find out more. Only when you have enough 'real' information about what may or may not happen etc can you make the right choice for you. Birth is a very personal experience. Your and your baby's safety and health are the priority whichever you decide.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (9 January 2010):
 You are going to be in control of the birth at all times, if you have a midwife and doctors involved. The only time you won't be in control is if the baby is in danger! If It were me giving birth then I would find a good hospital/midwife and set up a birthing plan that works for you both. I love the idea of how you see being pregnant, I respect your views. I would prefer my birth to be in an environment,where if things went wrong,they could quickly be recovered and I'd have the best possible assistance.x good luck with whatever you choose to do! I hope you have the birth you hope for and a healthy pregnancy/baby.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): Unassisted sounds not too good... why not have a compromise? You can have a trained person in home births come and help you..
Not to say that pregnancy is a problem or anything but some amount of assistance would mean less wear and tear on the body. She'd know what to do and how to guide you through it and handle any issues that may come up.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (9 January 2010):
 I would think at the very least that having a qualified midwife in attendance would be a good idea.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): You might want to look into a midwife to perform the birth. Sure unassisted might go fine, but even with regular checkups, there are still a lot of things that can go wrong if you do not have someone with proper medical training such as hemorrhage from tearing or the placenta not properly coming out in one piece. Before proper medical training for performing births the mortality rate was high, don't risk it by being bullheaded.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): I think you'd be daft. There could be major complications. What if you have twins? Where do you get the extra hands?Get an experienced midwife if you want to have your baby at home but be prepared to go to the hospital in the event of a difficult delivery. It's better to be safe than sorry forever.http://www.rcm.org.uk/http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/homebirthuk.asphttp://www.aom.on.ca/About/
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