A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:whats everyones views or opinions on this dilema can a marriage that was already on the rocks with one partner(the husband)not loving the other partner then having an affair,resulting in a baby with added financial implications SURVIVE?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): NO i dont think it can survive as the foundation is not there as both partners need to love each other.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): Dear Poster
It is very difficult to answer this question with such limited information;
BUT
I have seen marriages and relationships survive against all odds to the surprise of many; however I have seen marriages and relationships that seemed to be dealing with minor issues, not surviving;
I personally think it depends a lot on the COMMITMENT of both parties to make a success of the marriage and or relationship.
If there is a mutual COMMITMENT; if there is a mutual wanting and willingness to make it work; YES, then it is possible; but without I personally do not believe it can survive.
It will not be easy and it will take a lot of effort; the ability to forgive and to LET GO is very important; to learn to TRUST and RESPECT will be another issue; BUT yes, it is possible with hard work and devotion; without blaming each other and when you can both MOVE FORWARD and think about the FUTURE and let go of the past, without blaming each other or yourself; but to LET IT BE; yes, with the reminder of a child and the additional financial pressure, it will be even more difficult; but instead of it be a negative and a constant reminder of something that you want to put behind you; if you can work things out; turn it to a positive; let it be the turning point in the marriage or relationship; let it be a reminder of how closely you nearly lost each other; let it be a reminder not to default.
Yes, it is possible with great effort, lots of love and forgiveness and COMMITMENT from both parties.
Best wishes and try to keep SMILING.
Keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (26 September 2008):
 With a great deal of maturity on both sides and a lot of determination yes, although to get into all those predicaments in the first place one would have to question the maturity of the sperm donor!
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (26 September 2008):
 It all depends!
Do both partners want it to work? Then I say Yes! If both people work on the relationship, themselves, and support each other through the good and bad times, it could definately work.
If one person is too hurt to forgive or the other is not fully committed to being faithful and loving, then I say NO, it wont work.
It depends if both people want the relationship to work and are willing to do what it takes. Relationships require work, and if there are serious problems, the work can be exhuasting. Is it worth it for both partners? Thats the question they will have to wrestle with.
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