A
female
age
30-35,
*lipgloss06x
writes:how do you no when your ready for sex?ive been with my boyfriend for 4 months and im 16 hes 19. im a virgin, and im really scared about the whole sex thing ive been fingered and that but i think it would really hurt any tips ? im wondering if anybody could help please. i wana now the signs meaning your ready to have it thankyou xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Well, if your scared, best choice would be to wait. Ready truly means that you're confident on what you are doing, But everyone gets those frights before their first time. I know i did. And to be honest i wasnt ready my first time. I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend of 4 1/2 months. But if you do become sexually active with your boyfriend, dont let him start to take advantage. because then he will only want to come see you for sex. And about the pain, it may hurt, depends if you have masturbated before, with something other then a finger, then chances are then it will not hurt badly, or prolly you will not feel any pain at all. But be sure to use a condom you are only 16, yu have your whole life ahead of you, dont want becoming pregnant being apart of it just yet.but that is your decision on whether or not to wear one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): You will know when u are ready when u don't question if u are. It is something that will GREATLY effect u whether u are ready or not and its good to be prepared for either case. I say you wait a while and resist the temptation for as long as u can. Once ur virginity is gone its gone. there is no going back. From what ive heard the first time sucks a little bit for everyone. It feels great at the time but afterwards u can be wracked with guilt or wondering 'oh dear lord what have i done? AM I PREGNANT???' I wasn't ready to have sex when i did the first time...i was convinced i was but i wasn't I didn't feel any pain though which made me kind of suspicious of the whole thing. I was so mortified we only ever did it one more time and a half but i just couldn't go through with it. My self esteem was so low during that relationship i saw myself as a kind of vessel that he could use as he pleased (which is NOT THE WAY TO GO EVER!) You have to have respect for yourself and respect from him before u even think of having sex. You are young and sensitive and if u rush into having sex u could be thrown into a whole new basket of complicated stuff no one deserves to deal with. When u are ready to have sex ask urself these questions:a) are u responcible enough to handle regular gynocologist visits? pap tests? all that fun stuff that comes with being 'active'b) what if u DO by change become pregnant? Are u aware of all your options and if so which one would u go with? How would u personally deal with being pregnant and how would your boyfriend deal with it. If he is not ready to take the responcibility don't even think about having sex. You need to be on the same page holding hands for this to work. :)d) Do your research! Do you know what can potentially happen during or after sex? Do you know ALL the gruesom facts and are u comfortable talking about it without giggling inanely? Know the signs of when something is wrong such as STI's, and know how ur own body works. If you are allergic to latex the last way u wanna find out is when he puts on that condom and u feel kind of odd down there in an hour or so...e) Is the decision mutual? Are you BOTH on the same page? He needs to know how u feel and what this really means to u as u would essentially be giving the guy in question something u can never get back. You also need to know how he stands on this as well. Have a firm understanding of his wants, needs, and answer any questions he has. f) Are you comfortable in your own skin and are u confident? Most importantly: Stand up for urself! If at any point u think "crap! I CANT DO THIS!" Then don't be afraid to say stop. If he doesn't and continues to drill into u like no tomorrow, tell him to piss off and vow to never see him again. I hope this has helped and just remember to take ur time. Good luck!
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