A
male
age
41-50,
*unilal
writes:Dear All,this is a general question about relationship. Does a husband and wife are really restricted to have sex only between them! If so what shall happen after a divorce. or in case of a demise. if they are getting remarried in either case they are going to have sex with another person. does not that mean cheating.what if a person keeps sexual intimacy inside marriage alone and expecting luxurious life without bothering how hard the spouse earn money to run family.if a person have sex outside of marriage, should the marriage be stopped.Can a husband or wife give everything that spouse expects sexually. what if a wife has some sexual fantasy that her husband not able to fulfill. I know that is how our society works. but is this absolutely right? please share your opinion. correct me please where ever I am wrong.
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male
reader, sunilal +, writes (21 August 2012):
sunilal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi So_Very_Confused,
in fact you are not confused. you are pretty straight. to the point. very thanks for you.
and yes we are all on board and comfortable. informing in advance is a correct point. last time as it was an accident she could not and again it was first experience for her.
she waited for the right time to arrive. but before that I got what is happening. She became very shy when I asked her. I assured all my support and out our contract is
1. select a person who is acceptable for both of us.
2. give a hind about it so that I will not disturb her even by a phone call.
3. when the session is over just behave in a manner that is acceptable for society.
4. keep it a secret from others.
5. leave my brother to his way when he finds a soul mate (she may not like her husband being shared).
6. convey the contract with him.
7. when either of us feels the passion of open marriage is over then we got to go monogamous.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 August 2012):
 The cons? Seriously well my last marriage broke up because of being OPEN.. but then my partner could not handle it. He had no self-esteem and needed the ego stroke of other women. When I added other men our marriage did not survive. In order for open marriage to work both partners need to be ON BOARD and in agreement and be very secure with themselves and the relationship… it’s not for me any more.
Now I am in a monogamous relationship. Even though I am bisexual I gave up all others to be with my current partner because I do not wish to share him and therefore I do not want to be shared even with other women…
IF you and your wife and your brother are happy with the arrangement you have then it’s all good… only the people involved have to agree.. what outsiders think does not matter.
as for cheating.. if everyone is open and honest and above board and discusses it BEFORE the incidents then in my book it's not cheating.
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A
male
reader, sunilal +, writes (21 August 2012):
sunilal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionone more point. per me she did not cheat. she was quite open in telling me about all. All I insisted is not to run behind everybody. Consider these as just freaking out and not take it to heart. And any case to have these with only people we both can accept.
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A
male
reader, sunilal +, writes (21 August 2012):
sunilal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear friends,yes this is as per social norms. all points are valid. so as per society while married be only with that partner.As said So_Very_Confused was already into an open marriage. Could you please explain the 'cons'. All I am trying to clarify is why are we sticking to this norm of sex only inside marriage.In my case by chance started a sexual thing with my younger brother. She was never attracted to him, but he was showing interest. On my advice she just let him free and on an occasion when he hugged her he groped her over there (it is not small). She told me that his bigger palms gave more coverage and she felt a thrill and she initiated the sex. She told that it is she who lead him to have sex.In my opinion I am ok and can accept her. she is a fantastic wife who never left me careless. But what she missed was, a larger hand and few positions I am unable to give till, to feel better. How can she discuss with me so that she gets this. I am in a confused state with my mind to let a open marriage and the norms of society.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012): Marriage is a commitment between two people, and should remain between two people, is my general view.
If either or both parties have sexual relations with someone else outside of the marriage, that is classed as cheating, and its up to those involve to decide if it means the end of the marriage or not. Its different for everybody, it depends on the individuals.
Cheating often comes about when one member of the marriage isn't happy with their husband or wife. If there's any doubts that something is missing in the marriage, its best to talk the concerns through with the other person, in an attempt to avoid infidelity happening.
Sex to remain just within the marriage is traditionally the way to go, although some couples find a sexual need to invite others outside of the marriage into their sexual activities with their husbands and wives. For some people this is fine, and others aren't comfortable with it.
If a couple splits up and either party sleeps with another person, technically its not classed as cheating, but depending on how long since the split and whether or the couple are planning to get back together, It can be seen as cheating.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 August 2012):
well I think after being in an open marriage that a marriage should be two people and two people alone without extra partners.
If you are not married then you are free to be with whomever you wish.
IF you are divorced you can be with whomever you wish (be honest about the divorce)
if you are a widow/er then of course you should be free to be with whomever you wish
if you are widowed/or divorced then you can't be cheating as you are not partnered.
if a person expects a luxurious life, then they need to contribute to it... I work hard. I run a home... I manage to make time for my partner.
if a person is cheating (having sex outside the marriage) then only the two people in the marriage can decide if they want to end it.
if a wife has a fantasy that her husband can't or wont' fulfill then she needs to talk to him about what their options are... personally I think most fantasies are best kept just as that. and therefore i think that for the most part a person should just keep it as a fantasy.. it's usually hotter that way anyway...
what exactly are you trying to clarify?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 August 2012):
 These are moral questions and questions you could refer to the bible about but generally speaking; out-of wedlock affairs are considered sinfull and grounds for divorce
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