A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Does the relationship change when you get married?I've been with my partner for 7 years now, of which we've lived together for 4 years. We're not considering children at this point in time and I don't know if we ever will. I'm in my mid-twenties and he's in his early thirties.I have noticed that a lot of my friends are getting married, and it tickled my curiosity about the impact of marriage.I recognize that it's an important part in society, and that there are certain laws that kick in when you tie the knot (inheritance and such), and that the parents are generally happy.What I want to know is 2 things:What are the benefits of marriage?Could marriage have any affect on the relationship? I'm very happy with my boyfriend the way we are now and I wouldn't risk the relationship for a ring and society's approval.I appreciate all inputs, and I would especially love to hear from those of you who have lived with your partners a few years before getting to the white dress part. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007): Yep I am exactly right where you are!
Been with mine for 8 and I still have some cold feet!
What are the benefits of marriage?
I think if you live in the US you have Tax benifits.
Also if you or your partner get sick you are the next of kin if eather one of you gets sick and can't make decisions for themselves. Otherwise they will look to his parents to make that decision.
Could marriage have any affect on the relationship?
Depends on the people involved.
talk it over with your partner.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 I think it's all in the frame of mind you have. Some couples feel more committed to each other after taking their vows. It's so easy to walk out the door when you're living together. You pack up your stuff and you go. There's no legal documents to draw up. No lawyers. Some people feel that gives an individual too much freedom.On the other hand, it's comforting to know that just because someone could leave just like that without all the legal quagmires, it means more when they stay because they're staying out of choice, not obligation.When I got married, I immediately felt a sense of purpose and security. I felt like I finally had someone to belong to, in a sense. But I was also felt a sense of boredom within a couple of years into our marriage. Would that have happened anyhow?....Perhaps. We married very young. Talk to your partner about the expectations he has going into marriage. Sometimes the pitfalls in getting married are simply this; people go into the institution of marriage with pre-destined ideas about their roles in the marriage. A man who've you previously co-habitated with, may suddenly begin to expect certain things simply because his parents marriage reflected them. You'd be surprised how many modern guys, have a 1950's state of mind when it comes to their marriages. Talk about those hidden expectations before you take your vows. Once that's on the table, things should remain relatively the same after you've become husband and wife. And there is a certain amount of dignity and honor that comes from taking a man's name and becoming his wife.Best of luck to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for your answer Reebe. I see what you're saying about children being a stronger commitment than marriage, and I fully agree.
And yes, if I would ever have children I would make sure to get married first, it feels right to me in a weird kind of way.
...............................
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 i don't see the big deal in marriage myself but i think for me it would just be the extra commitment thing. I'm not religous and i'm not bothered about what social acceptance i think it's all down to the individual and what they want and if being married before having children (if you want any) means something to you then maybe there's a reason. Although to me having children together is more of a commitment than getting married. But to me marriage is for life and not something that should be done if you don't think you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. Although saying that if my boyfriend ask me to marry him I'd do it tomorrow! lol
Do what is right for your relationship and legally a common law wifw which you are had nearlly the same rights as a married couple.
...............................
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (10 January 2007):
i don't see the big deal in marriage myself but i think for me it would just be the extra commitment thing. I'm not religous and i'm not bothered about what social acceptance i think it's all down to the individual and what they want and if being married before having children (if you want any) means something to you then maybe there's a reason. Although to me having children together is more of a commitment than getting married. But to me marriage is for life and not something that should be done if you don't think you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. Although saying that if my boyfriend ask me to marry him I'd do it tomorrow! lol
Do what is right for your relationship and legally a common law wifw which you are had nearlly the same rights as a married couple.
...............................
|
