A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my wife for six years. We have two children, the first was born about a year after we started dating, so we really haven't had a lot of time for ourselves. In her culture (Central American) it's more common for babies to stay in mom and dad's bed while the baby is breastfeeding, and it definitely made things easier, but it also made having an exciting love life somewhat difficult. She didn't have a ton of experience with guys before she met me, but we clicked in the bedroom pretty well. After the baby what ended up happening is that we would always "get to the point" so to speak, and not take very much time enjoying the act itself. That's no longer necessary, but the habit is still there, so, with a few exceptions, we're generally having relatively short sessions in bed. She's expressed a desire for this to change (the routine), and it's important to me that she's happy, so I'd like to make an effort to surprise her a little in bed. What I'm after is two things: what are some nice ways to seduce her, to get her in the mood, make her feel sexy, etc, as well as what are some things your guy might do in bed that you love, or things that you wish he did in bed. If it helps, my wife is a little freaky, so she's open minded. Thanks!
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (6 October 2013):
 The use of a well-educated tongue can usually solve any such problem.
A
male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (4 October 2013):
There are many ways to do this but i heard from a couple who were much like you and your wife. Give the children to grandma and grandpa for the night and then take her somewhere nice and romantic. There are a million ideas given if you do a google search. Start with something you are both comfortable with and move up from there. Communicate how you feel and if you have neglected her in the past do not be afraid to give a sincere sorry. Only you know what your wife likes in the bedroom so go ahead and get what you need to please her. Make it a night for her and include yourself also. Good-luck it will work out just fine for you both.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (2 October 2013):
 Try and get someone to babysit the children overnight at theirs (such as grandparents) so you have the evening to yourselves and your wife can relax.
Maybe get a nice feel good type of film and snuggle up with a bottle of wine after a nice meal (not cooked by her).
Set a nice mood with candles or dimmed lights and make sure it's nice and warm.
Then seduce her, like you might have done in the beginning.
Take your time to kiss her, everywhere she likes, stroke and caress her, maybe undress her, massages are always good and oral sex is usually well received. Showering or bathing together can be sexy and intimate too (especially by candlelight with scented oils).
Make her feel loved and cherished. Make it all about her.
Once you start exploring each others bodies again you will soon remember how good it feels to be able to make love with carefree abandon and even be able to make a noise without worrying about waking the kids!
If this improves things then try and make it a regular occurrence maybe even take her away sometime (if money permits).
If she wants something more adventurous then maybe check out some sexy lingerie, vibrators, handcuffs or other sex toys to experiment with (choose them with her it's all part of the fun) and then, with no kids about, let go and have loads of unbridled fun and passion.
It's difficult to be a sensual couple with the responsibility of a young family and the risk of interruption. It takes a bit of effort planning times to be alone as lovers rather than Mum and Dad, but it is a very necessary part of being together.
I hope this helps AB x
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