A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Three years ago my parents kicked my older brother out because he is gay. Basically they told me not to have any contact with him what so ever. My brother keeps in touch with me with e-mails but i no longer use the computer at home because my parents are always checking. He has sent me birthday cards and christmas cards which they rip up in front of me. I have asked him not to send this year because of them. I finished school this year because of stress, i just could not handle both school and my parents. I managed to get a job with a supermarket which pays minimum wage but at least it's a job and they do have training opportunities available.Unlike my parents i have not disowned my brother and have met up with him a few times. It is really hard seeing him because we both get pretty upset with the situation. He has a good job and suggested earlier this year that i should think of moving in with him as he is looking for a larger flat. He has finally moved into a 2 bedroom apartment and has asked me if i want to i move in. I know if i tell my parents the world will come collapsing on my head and i am thinking of just moving in without telling them. My question is would i be allowed to take all my stuff, that is everything my parents have bought for me with me? Does it actually belong to me because they kicked my brother out with nothing would they do the same to me if i told them i was going to live with my brother. I already have some clothes at his apartment, i just need to make the final decision
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014): Thanks i was expexting to people to tell me i was wrong. Guess it is my mind playing tricks, gonna keep moving my stuff a bit at a time but i plan to leave my parents before new year. Yes i will write them a letter but it will not be abusive, it will just be how i feel and why. Think there has been enough abuse in my family whether intentional or not. I love my parents but it is so hard to live with them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014): Just keep sneaking your things out bit by bit. And any presents, clothing, etc are yours even if they bought them for you. So take them to your brothers and then just leave them a letter on the side saying you have moved out and you are ok and will be in touch. They will probably guess where you have gone.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 December 2014):
I don't think you actually have a legal right to anything your parents have bought you (such as furniture) but smaller items (jewelry, laptops) things you can CARRY with you might be another matter.
I think if they kicked him out with nothing to his name, they would do the same for you. And that makes me sad.
Like SensitiveBloke mention, you might have to move more of your "stuff" faster to your brother's place.
I'm sorry you are in this spot. I am however glad that you have your brother and his support.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (17 December 2014):
I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you've been having.Whoever legally owns your stuff, your parents would find a way of stopping you from getting your hands on it. If you really need to get away from them (which it sounds like you do), I suggest you continue moving things out bit-by-bit before they find out what your plans are.It's also important that you think about your long-term plans. Are you really happy staying at the supermarket? Would you want to go back to school/college in the future to better your employment chances? If you do, you need to think carefully about your finances too.
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