A
female
age
51-59,
*martnsexy
writes:I know what I want. I am successful in business, own my own beautiful home, have a good family, and have interests that I maintain. I am confident and beautiful.We dated for 5 years. We talked about marriage, retiring, building our dream home. However, there were issues between his teenage daughter and I. Her mother passed when she was a year and a half and she has issues with Dad having a serious companion. I yelled at her for not doing as I asked when I was watching her (Dad was out of town on his dream hunting trip. I know I was out of line, but she knew how to push my buttons. Now she claims she's terrified of me and hates me. We have not interacted since then (other than polite small talk). I have tried to apologize, agreeing that without children of my own, I may not know the best ways to handle situations. His parents hate me for upsetting their grandaughter. His daughter has two more years at home, then college.About two months ago he said he had to break up because he needed to focus on his daughter. After a few weeks, he started spending time flirting with other woman. I freaked out. He was understanding.We have been seeing each other for sex, under the condition that he is not sleeping with others because I do not want any diseases.Yesterday he said he would call, but did not. I tried to call him, but then got worried that something happened to him. I care deeply about him and would like to spend the rest of my life with him.I feel like it boils down to, did he break up to resolve issues with his daughter... if so, then I think we should be able to continue dating, but give him space and time. If he broke up because he doesn't want to be with me (I know he loves me, laughs with me, calls pretty often, I totally satify him in the bedroom, we love doing the same things...), then I need to let him go.My question are, 1. With out invading his space, how do I ask him which it is... 2. And what if he doesn't know... is this even possible? 3. If he doesn't know, then I think I should sever ties. Is this the right thing, or will I lose him forever.I am scheduled to see him tonight, I want to do what is right. I truly appreciate and help anyone can offer.
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female
reader, smartnsexy +, writes (25 August 2009):
smartnsexy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe didn't have time to talk... said he'll come see me tomorrow... but I think I am done... hope I have the strength. I hope I can take my own advice.
A
female
reader, scorpionqueenjm  +, writes (24 August 2009):
I would say that first you need to stop sleeping with him. You need to speak to him about your non relationship "HE CANNOT HAVE HIS CAKE AND EAT IT TOO". If you continue letting him in your bed for pleasure he won't see the reason to make a decision to commit to you. So what if you yelled at his daughter, I am not saying this was right however you are homan so he needs to forgive and move on if he loves you. Him flirting with another woman is not acceptable. When he comes over tonight, why not have the TALK. If he is adamant that he wants to stay broken up then accept it and move on as painful as it maybe. You are a smart successful woman with a lot to offer. Do not sell yourself short or lower your self worth by being this man's F$%& Buddy.
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A
female
reader, smartnsexy +, writes (24 August 2009):
smartnsexy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply.
Yes, our get togethers are "sex only"... at first I thought I was doing it because I wanted to make sure he wasn't sleeping with anyone else.
That's denial, I am fairly confident a fella can sleep with more than one gal a day.
So then I thought, and he eluded to, he was making sure I was sexually satisfied... maybe so I would not go looking.
Lately though I feel like it's great, but not enough. I hate the idea of the "hard to get games", it seems so stupid to me.
I will directly ask him tonight... do you need space for you and daughter... or are you looking to date others.
But what if there is an in between?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): Don't be affraid to ''invade his space". you need to comunicate to him what you want from relationship.
Also don't let him to be vague. Men like doing it. They also like to keep several women around them just in case.
But that's not what you want. After 5 years you are entitled to some respect and honesty from him.
Unfortunately that wasn/t a good move to yell at his daughter, but what's done is done. That might be the reason why he is dissapointed.
one thing I don't understand. You guys still sleeping with each other, but not doing anything else?
if that's the case, I can tell it's not that uncommon in men. They do it. They break up with a girlfriend, but then just keep her for sex. Pretty sad.
Good luck.
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