A
female
age
51-59,
*yfoeverlove
writes:I posted a question a while back about a guy i broke up with because of the way he talked to me and never really had time for me and how i am brokenhearted and afraid to move on with my life because i feel that I gave him my heart and opened up to him completely. he started seeing his ex of 20 years whom he was never married to but they have two children together(they had been broken up for 5 years by the time i came along, him practically begging her to come back and her constantly telling him to leave her the f--k alone and get out of her life). i left the relationship for my own sanity. he contacted me to tell me how much he loves me, how he only loves her because she is the mother of his children, that when he thinks of being in love he thinks of me, when he looks at her he isn't physically attracted to her, but then tells me that he is confused because he has waited 20 years to hear her say that he is a good man and that she loved him. i thought it was selfish of him to tell me those things and i told him so, he had not contacted me in a while until my birthday. he didn't contact me directly, he sent word through a mutual friend to tell me happy birthday and that he was thinking of me. he really can't contact me because i have blocked him in every way i know how from being able to. every since my friend told me what he said i have been stupid in my head. why won't he just go away? i hate this feeling of her being better than me because he so quickly went back to a woman that he says treated him so bad and i saw for myself how she treated him sometimes. what does she have that i don't? i was so good to him and it's like he is more comfortable with the bad. for 20 years he tried to make her love him while she did nothing but put him down, she didn't show up for his college graduation, she had a car and he didn't and she would make him walk where he needed go, she would put him down in front of others, he was in icu after a surgery and she not one time came to visit but he went back anyway. i am not an unattractive woman, i have guys hitting on me all the time and this guy is not very attractive at all, my friends ask me am i lonely or is he rich because they don't see what i want with him. what is wrong with me? why do i still love him? why do i feel she has something i don't
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broke up, his ex, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): He's a certified dingbat. Lose that zero and love a hero.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 Never compare yourself with another woman it will rip your self esteem to shreds and you are putting yourself down. Ill tell you straight out what she has, she has two children with him and 20 years off being together. It is nothing about you as a person and dont put yourself down for this. Am sure you are a great person and you need to keep thinking that.
I guess we cant help who we fall for but you have done the best thing by cutting contact. It will get easier i promise just keep your distance from him. But the best thing to do is have plenty of girlie night. Its a great chance to offload on your friends and also to meet new people. Even if you dont feel like dating just start by chatting to other guys and getting to know them. Believe me time makes it easier. Just get yourself back out there and dont put yourself down. Tell yourself he was not the man for you and go and socialise more. Goodluck.
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