A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: im just needing advice. im proud of myself for doing something i thought id never but im needing reassurance because my confidence is very low.i have a friend who ive bent over backwards to help. my friends think hes a user and a loser. initially he was very sweet and made me feel good about myself. he was in a bad place and i helped him but gave hom a hell of a lot of help. i think he began to take advantage so anyway recently he got a new positon-same comapany-i did the application for him and he didnt contact me for a while and it really upset me. so anyway last night he calls and wants to meet for coffee monday so i said i couldnt talk for long as i was off out and he was shocked and said 'youre going out ?' and i said i was out all night and also id have to get back to him regarding monday as imight be busy-he sounded surprised but im not a walkover anymore but i felt good for doing it. did i do good ?
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female
reader, RandomSmileys +, writes (15 January 2011):
Yeah that was the right thing to do. If he was so surprised that means that he thought you had no life, that's probably why he took advantage of your help in the first place, well done :)
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (15 January 2011):
Oh yes the girl done good! Funnily enough although I am sure this wasn't your intention your disinterest will make him as keen as mustard. He will now be thinking, where are you, what have you been up to. who have you been with etce etc and it will be driving him crazy! Continue to be totally unavailable as he sounds like a total user to me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): Yes, you did a good thing. It's never a good idea to be a door mat and this guy took advantage.
Keep telling yourself you did the right thing and carry on being more assertive. It will help you in the future and people won't think you're a push over.
Being generous is fine but knowing when to draw the line is essential.
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