A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help!!!!!! Hi there I really dont know what I am doing wrong in relationships, it happened again Saturday I was unexpectedly dumped by text. I go out with these guys bend over backwards to make them feel special even if they do not return this, I think all is going well them bam its over. I cant understand it. I was seeing this guy 6 weeks I put up with alot of crap he was constantly miserable and when I asked if it was me I got snapped at, we hardly ever went out and he never gave me any compliments which made me think does he not even fancy me. When my friend asked him why he ended it he blamed my insecurities but at the end of the day if a man is constantly moody when around you and wont communicate what are you meant to think. Also nearly 12 months ago I was dumped by text also, is it todays new breed of man, are they all spineless or am I falling for the wrong ones all the time. Im 32 now and I am scared of being left on the shelf, I would love to meet a nice man who will love and take care of me and whom I can do same but all I seem to meet these days are arse holes (ignore my language but thats how im feeling). I know not to go our looking for Mr Right he will find me but im starting to wonder now if this is true. Any suggestions guys!!
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female
reader, kas +, writes (6 March 2007):
I know its so hard. I spent 13 wasted years with an asshole, had 2 kids, eventually let him, had nothing but probs with him, I didnt want to meet anyone but a friend of mine become my soulmate, he died 3 1/2 yrs ago. Had trouble getting over that! I met someone who didnt realise he was 'growing on me', he also had issues - he dumped me cos basically couldnt handle how he was feeling! That was over 2 yrs ago and I cant get him out of my head but because of that I tried to be mates, he didnt want to know first of all, then he tried so many times to make an effort with me and I rejected him, now I regret being so nasty to him cos he is with someone else - I dont know why I did it, apart from, I was scared that I realised I was falling in love with him too! Now Ive lost him and cant say I blame him. You wouldnt believe how upset I am over it and its all my fault. So it doesnt work either way, whether youre nice or not, just be yourself and go out and enjoy yourself in the meantime, its better to be with the right man instead of the wrong one, obviously you are unlucky to find all the wrong ones. Dont try so hard, 32 isnt any age, Im sure one day you will find the right one. Bit cliche I know but seems to be the way. Good Luck
A
male
reader, Cheese  +, writes (6 March 2007):
 just keep your standards high, maybe even raise them a little.where are you meeting these loosers? maybe you should find a new way/place to meet new guys.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Well you should have realised from the following and dumped him first. 1. He was miserable 2. He snapped at you 3. You hardly went out 4. He never gave you compliments. Stop bending over backwards for these inadequate men, you say yourself you put up with a lot of crap. Why put all that effort into trying to form a relationship which was looking rocky from the very beginning? If you start getting crap, dump them, don't think you will make them happy, love you etc. If a man is really into you, then he will compliment you,take you out make you feel happy and special. So learn by your mistakes and don't worry about being on the shelf I'm forty and I've dated my fare share of tossers too! Just be a bit more choosy and respect yourself first, then you should start to attract the right sort of men.
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