A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I got a promotion to catering assistant at my job. I made great friends with the girl whose position I would be taking so on her last night, I went to her going away party at a local sushi restaurant. Surprisingly, my general manager was there, but no one else from work. He said he was cool with partying with me if no one else from work found out. We had a couple drinks then I ended up going to his house where we listened to some music that we both like and then we slept together. It was amazing! I have had a crush on him for so long and I used to contemplate quitting just so I could make a move on him. Now that I have this promotion, I feel like I'm really getting better and I love going to work! We have been hanging out for about a week now and I still haven't told anyone. We have such a fun time together, he keeps me laughing and he treats me really well. I really just want to tell everyone how happy I am, but I know I cant risk anyone spilling the beans and both of us losing our jobs. I feel like our personalities click so well and I just want to be near him all the time. Unfortunately I haven't even told my roommates, so I have to keep lying to them about where I'm going, when its really to hang out with him. I dont think they would understand or approve of me seeing my boss. I keep having this vision that if I told them, they might come to my work and accidentally say something to him and I would have to stop seeing him. When it comes to work, though, we are extremely professional. He doesn't give me any special treatment, we never talk about hanging out later, or anything. He always acts natural, tells me to have a good day and then I get a text from him later asking to hang out. I hate lying to everyone, but I'm really happy with him and I can't risk having to let this one go. Please offer some advice. What should I do?
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crush, move on, my boss, roommate, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI see where you all are coming from, but I feel like he's different. He's just a lonely 30 year old who has dated a few women and almost married one when he was 25. I'm 21 and a firm believer in age is just a number. We said that if things ever had to end, we would act professionally and not see each other anymore. Honestly, if I ever felt like he was taking advantage of me I would just quit. The position I have takes a lot of knowledge and time to get so if I left the company would be screwed...perfect revenge. Not that I've thought about doing that. Also, my predecessor left because her boyfriend is in the army and he got stationed in Texas. Trust me, she was NOT sleeping with the boss. He's a little shorter, balding, and a huge dork! I love all these things about him and I find him very attractive. I've never had someone take care of me the way he does so if I get heartbroken, at least I will have had some good feelings up until then. I'm just tired of immature, douchebag guys. Things are so simple between me and him...and his cat!
A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (7 October 2012):
 This sounds very fishy to me. I bet he was the only one present at your predecessor's farewell party because he was sleeping with her too, and maybe she left because of him. A man who takes his employee to bed on the first day of their meeting outside work is probably only looking for sex. When you two meet up, do you usually end up having sex almost always? Has he ever mentioned a "relationship" or is this something you want and expect? How old is he? Is he married? Honestly, I don't feel too good about this. I have a feeling that you will be used and this will end badly for you. He will probably get away, as most powerful men do. You might be in for heartbreak, and more. So tread carefully.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): Hmmm...
Sounds to me your boss wants to have a little fun with you bc you're young and gullible...
Wouldn't be surprised if he's done that with other female employees; treats them well, has fun with them...but, asks them to keep it a secret. That's how you form a harem!
You do know that people WILL find out and you both stand to lose your jobs. Mostly you, bc he's General Manager and seems to have a silver tongue so it wouldn't be a pb for him to talk his way out of a problem.
Whatever you're doing with your boss...Stop it right now!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): Hello, sweetie! If you are happy how things are i suggest for you not to complicate things.You know the consequences if you tell your workmates about the two of you, and you mention you will both lose your jobs. If you tell them the truth at this early, I dont think if, it's just the job your going to lose. You will also lose HIM.You're happy right now, Since your Happy, Let it Be. Don't spoil the fun. I'm not suggesting for you to lie eitherIf your friend's asked why you cant hang out with them, just tell them that you have something else to do like meeting your other friends.The right time will come when the two of are ready to spill the truth about your "special relationship".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): Yes, how old is your boss and how old are you? This will make a difference in the advice people will give you. But, as a generalization here it goes:1. Never mix personal life with work. You've broke an key rule to follow. The odds are that you will end up used and your heart broken, then what, how happy will you be going to work each day and seeing him?2. You slept him without so much as having him take you on a date or two or three or four. Chances are he does not truly respect you or see you as anything but a little excitement. He didn't have to work hard to get you.3. You're still young with lots of feelings and fantasies. This leads me to believe that you are much more into him than him into you. You're not seeing this situation for what it is.I really hope you don't end up too hurt!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2012): "What advice can you give me? I hate having to keep this secret. But my General Manager said he was cool with partying with me if no one else from work found out""I hate lying to everyone, but I'm really happy with him and I can't risk having to let this one go. Please offer some advice. What should I do?"Either quit your job immediately or report the scumbag to his boss; he is engaging in illegal and unethical behavior that has put you in a position where he can either favor you or exploit you, with either possibility negating his ability to be a fair and impartial boss to your co-workers. To be blunt, he's using you. Wouldn't be surprised if he was doing the same with your predecessor, and/or if he was the reason she left.
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