A
male
age
41-50,
*ant stand this
writes:I met this 23 year old woman back in november. I am 31. Prior to having met her I had broken up from a 10 year relationship that brought about 2 children, who are now 9 and 5. This woman and I went out for the first time a few weeks after meeting. Our first date was a memoriable one. We slept together on the first date. I decided to continue to call her, I was lonely and yeah I did think she was a cool girl. A few months went by. The woman is now pregnant, with my third child. Unfortunately I now have a horrible case of insecurity about her past. She noticed that I started becoming uneasy with the whole thing and doesn't let on to exactly how many men she's been with, but its safe to say at least a dozen. I've picked her brain pretty well and can come to certain conclusions with out her actually saying certain things. I noticed her experience right away. She swallows with out hesitation. I love it,but obviously, I could only imagine the endless number of loads she's guzzled down. At first I remember telling her I was a bit younger, in fear that I might scare her away, because I was older. I now find out she's been with men even older then I, whom have had kids and similar situations as mine. At first she mentioned she had only been in two relationships. Now I find out that after those two relationships when she was younger, she then took off and experienced many different men. What can I say, I took her home on the first date, that was more then enough indication as to what kind of woman she was. At least in my eyes, yet I am the one who persued her. Now I find myself in this dilema. I can't seem to shake this horrible feeling. I just can't get over it! I do love this woman and I feel she loves me. Thing is, I can't stay this way forever. I'm realling pushing towards us parting ways and taking care of my child, but just not be in a relationship with her. Unfortunately this has such a grip on me, that its taking my peace of mind. I realise that now I will b a man with three kids as well. It won't b easy to find someone with those credintials yet I think I might have some growing up to do. Even at the risk of loosing a good woman, but I see no other option for me. I can't stand it! How do I get over this horrible feeling I carry with me inside?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): are you sure this kid is yours. if she has had countless men and did not fall pregnant they how convienient for her that she conceived with you. is it too late for an abortion? or are you and her against abortion.
i think you are also wrong - you enjoyed having sex with her on your 1st date. and now you are using this as a measure. so, it seems that she is not shy to have sex on the 1st date. does this mean that she does it all the time? only she knows. her sexual experience is discomforting to you perhaps because she has different value system than her.
i take it you were faithful to your previous partner. is there any indication that you still love his woman and are you also comparing her values to this young 23 yr old? this girl has lied about her sexual conquests because she saw your discomfort.
if you just cannot get past her sexual past then you need to call it a day. but don't just use her for sex. it is not fair.
A
female
reader, tired82  +, writes (17 May 2009):
 You're not in a mess. If you love her then stick it through. The past is the past. If you feel she is real to you and loves you and won't cheat on you then give it a try. People make mistakes especially at a young age. If she didn't tell you the truth it's because she was ashamed. What should it matter anyway it's the past. Live for today and the future. You don't see her contemplating on your past. Something to think about.
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A
female
reader, Gdal +, writes (17 May 2009):
Sounds like you have good intentions by stepping up and taking care of your child. But should break the relantionship. She sounds like the kinda girl that can kind another guy, are you 100 percent sure it's your baby. If you don't want more kids don't rely on anyone but yourself and get snipped. It's a very fast minor walk in procedure. Then at least you won't have to worry about that again. I know that advise is a little to late now, but could help later. A lot of women get turned on by a single dad, you'll find the right one.
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