A
male
age
51-59,
*yprus
writes:Hi, I have just recently left a relationship, the second time round. I actually left on Christmas Eve. To cut a long story short, three years ago i was in a relationship with my partner for 9 years (gay relationship) and it ended when i met my new partner (now my ex!). We both fell in love with each other, and three months later moved in with him and his ex. You could say it was a three way relationship, but i saw it as living with my partner and living with a friend. As time went on, i did mention to my partner that he needs to sort out his relationship with his ex, i.e. move on so we can concentrate on ours. As time went by, nothing was done about it, and after two years i left, stating I am not leaving the relationship, but leaving his home. I told him, i can handle any problems me and he had, but not the 3. In those two years, me and his ex became better friends as we were friends before. I think that was my first mistake. Eight months later, my ex call me, we meet up and get back together again. I moved in for only four months until i found my own place coz i was living with my parents after selling my apartment. I really tried hard to accept the situation, but once i moved out, things got worse. My ex became closer with his ex. It seemed to me he was too comfortable to let him go, but what i don't understand is why get back with me if he can't let go of his ex. Please help
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female
reader, prenezmoila  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Sounds like he just has a multitude of feelings and needs a place to put them. The best thing you can do is live your own life and let him sort out his without interfering, because in the end you'll just hurt yourself. Until he KNOWS where he stands with both you and his ex, you should back off and let him know that you are your own person with your own interests and responsibilities, and that he needs to figure out whether or not he fits into that picture, as do you. Best of luck.
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