A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, need some advice about what to do next. Me and my ex were with each other for 3 years but broke up 10 months ago she is very insecure no matter what i do to comfort her or resure her, in the end it tore us apart not saying i done nothing wrong but the bulk of it was not being able to see my friends, constantly asked to show her affection even when sometimes i just didnt want too, like if i had a bad day i couldnt just have time to myself i had to see her then when i show up feeling like crap i get shouted at for being in a mood. Anyway 10 months on we`ve started talking again and gone out on a few dates, she says she`s changed and she goes out with her friends more which is great and has her own life so she wont always be in my pocket so i said yes lets give it another go because i do love her, but its only been a week and shes starting to show those old signs, i said i wont be seeing her 1 day in the week as im going to pop down my dads and she said yes but was a bit funny about it and i just thought i cant do it again if she starts to go back to her old ways, shall i hang on to see if she has changed or just move on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): You should honestly think about going to relationship counselling (try relate - google them). Insecurity is a very tough nut to crack - especially if one partner needs a lot of affection to let them know they are cared about - and the other needs a lot of space. It's all about how you communicate with each other. Having said that - one night off a week!? That's not asking for much. Sounds like she's been really hurt in the past and that both of you could be helped a lot by speaking to a professional - you to help you show her more affection, and better judge when she needs it - and her to learnt to give you your space, to address her underlying insecurity and to learn how to better communicate her needs to you - good luck.
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