A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:There is a woman whom I met online, who lives in another country. We communicated for quite a bit of time without meeting in person. After about 3 months of emailing, and one Skype call, she told me she loved me. She asked how I felt. I said I liked her very much, but that I could not say I loved her until we met in person. At first she was upset, but then she said she understood. I asked her why she said she loved me. Her reply:"Because I think about you all the time, and I am always thinking, 'Oh, X would really enjoy this,' or 'Oh, I would like to share this with X.'" (I am X in this situation.)In my mind--I didn't say it--that was not an answer. Those were expressions of love, but not reasons. I meant I wanted to know what about me as a person she loved. In the next few months, we chatted more, and I asked her again, but never really got an answer. Nor did I get an answer as to the kind of man she was looking for.We still communicate but things have slowed a bit and she is chatting with others as well. I think one thing that bothered was: How could she say she loved me so quickly? Without meeting me? Without spending significant time with me?I admit that this, coupled with her background, made me question her emotional judgement: she seems very nice, is very intelligent, but was divorced about 5 years ago and has, by her own admission, had many lovers since, including a few broken engagements. Now, I don't hold a person's past against them if I feel they are being honest and true with me. But in this case, her rush into saying she loves me matched with the high number of lovers in the past few years makes me wonder if she is too desperate.Ok, so, do you think it's strange for an online dating partner to say I love you after primarily an email relationship with just a Skype call or two?Thank you!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 December 2016):
 My guess is that she loves talking to you, she loves the idea off you both being together and she wears her heart on her sleeve.
Three months is a long time to be talking to someone, even if it is only on line. Now I don't think she loves you as a person that is why she could not answer, because well she doesn't truly know you.
But on a communication level I guess you say all the right things and make her feel special.
Now the choice is yours either you take the bullet and invite her out on a date or else you end it.
A
female
reader, LiVTRus  +, writes (10 December 2016):
 I am russian too and I have a right to tell you next text:Don't trust her.Why? Because we russian are using these words:"I love you" with big graveness".We can tell this just when we are sure that these feelings are true and serious.If you didn't meet each other she can't love you all the more.I guess she wants to catch you uttering these words.She is 40 years old and she has got a lot of lovers!?Lie!Or she is a chippy woman.Be careful otherwise you would be destroyed.My words are rigid but it is truth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust wanted to thank the people who gave me answers. Was helpful to get some feedback.
She is from Russia, by the way, for Paula who asked.
And she is not 18 - she is almost 40. So I do think it is somewhat strange at her age, and with her experience, to say what she did.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 December 2016):
 For me? Yes, that is strange.
BUT some people are pretty "liberal" with the word LOVE. Others are not.
Is she too desperate? That is hard to say but I do think she is trying VERY hard to make things happen, make things work. IT IS very easy to get caught up in an LDR/online thing - because it's part fantasy. Like SHE even said - she thought of how YOU would enjoy this or that, or wish you were there to share it... THAT is fantasy. She is caught up in the fantasy of having found "the love if her life", the perfect partner without REALLY knowing you. Without knowing if you are physically attracted to her, and she to you. Without knowing if you "clock" or not.
She is even talking to MULTIPLE people - guess how many she tells "I love you!" to? My guess all of them. It makes HER feel good. and she hopes it makes the other party feel good as well and HOPEFULLY they will offer whatever it is she wants.
Another guess can be the MORE people she "loves" the bigger the chance of finding a Mr. Right. And telling you so soon can be to make you reluctant to end it because you don't want to hurt her feelings.
OR... SHE is "in love" with the notion of LOVE. The fantasy of it.
Either way, do YOU see a possible future with her? Is it plausible to move and work where she lives or her live (and work) where you live?
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A
female
reader, Paula4u  +, writes (8 December 2016):
 Actually perhaps you are the only person she talks to. You can fall in love with an person you have never seen, think about the snail mail romances but... what you write is totally different of the person you are. So give her the benefit of doubt.
Its easier to pour your heart out on a keyboard than face to face, so people think they know you.
What country is she from , this makes a difference also.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 December 2016):
 Yes of course it is strange. You know it. You are being groomed for something. Don't know what yet.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (8 December 2016):
 Women are emotional. When i was 18 I talked to a guy online for about 8 months and confessed that I love him. We never met, not even skyped, just saw photos. But I thought of him everyday and actually thought he was my soulmate but that we somehow couldnt be together. Fast forward today, after having had relationships and been in love and having had intense sexual relationships---I look back at my 18 year old self and I laugh. I think you can take it that shes kind of putting alot of emotion on her interaction with you and its not necessarily healthy. Id even say yes it seems a bit desperate, you havent met or even made love. Her notion of who are you, isnt really real until you have met in person.If you dont want to see her anymore, just inform her. But Id def cautiously tred into a relationship with her, she hasnt met you. She doesnt really know who you are, shes letting her fantasy do that for her. And I think youre having some slight trust issues with her, shes had many lovers and has broken up quite a few times. We can probably guess here she falls very quickly in love---and very quickly out of it too. Her judgement may not be the best, but give her some compassion---feelings arent always black and white. Id just tred cautiously or end it and pursue a more available woman close by =)Good luck
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