A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My birthday is today and my boyfriend has gone out of his way to make me feel bad and start arguments with me. It's beginning to feel like he enjoys ruining every special occasion. Do you think he's a narcissist?We were texting each other yesterday and I mentioned I had trouble sleeping at night so he suggested I read but then made a strange remark and suggested I read porn magazines. We haven't seen each other much lately so I said was that to make up for the lack of sex lately and he went mad. He started ranting saying I was humiliating him. I said I was only kidding and he said wow that's hilarious me and my tiny penis found that funny. He then ignored me all day until gone 10 at night. I think he told me to get porn magazines thinking I would get mad at him suggesting it but when I didn't he just started arguing with me anyway.He then text me at gone 10pm and started going on about other things. On Saturday I've arranged to see my niece in a concert and he started telling me I was selfish that I wasn't spending all of my birthday weekend with him. I asked if we could go for a drive to a beach I've been wanting to go to last weekend for my birthday but he got so drunk the night before he didn't get up until three in the afternoon so we didn't go. When he started having a go at me for planning to see a concert on Saturday I pointed out I'd asked to go somewhere the weekend before but he drank too much. He then told me my birthday wasn't until next Monday. I've been seeing him for four years and he knows exactly when my birthday is so I have no idea why he's just made that up. I also share the same birthday as Jim Morrison and hes obsessed with him, he always brings up the fact that it's Jim's birthday soon, stupid I know! But he definitely knows when my birthday is.For the last three Christmases he's ended up getting easily offended and touchy, last year was the worst and I didn't see him at all until the new year.His fortieth birthday was last July and I went out of my way to organise a special trip, his father took him to Amsterdam and he spent weeks complaining that I couldn't see him on the Monday morning after his birthday on the Saturday. He honestly made me feel like I was evil because I had an appointment somewhere else.We usually get on and I enjoy his company but every special occasion is ruined by him, he sulks and gets in a mood and always ends up calling everybody selfish. What can I do to make him see what he's doing! Do you think he's a bit of a narcissist?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 December 2016):
 He sounds like a spoiled child. I wouldn't put up with this. Could you imagine what he would be like the day you got married?
Honey I really don't know why you have put up with this man for so long, maybe it is just special occasions but he makes everything about him and turns everything around so that he is the victim. I would not have the energy for that.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): Yes from what you have described he is a narcissist
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 December 2016):
 Oh dear the writing is on the wall. Why endure this? Unless there is some very good reason why he is being so obnoxious you will be better off with a magazine. At least they don't berate you!
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