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female
,
*ustard_creature
writes: Hi, I'm currently in a 3 yr relationship with my boyfriend, Jonny. But recently I've started going out with his boss, Ant. I've really fallen for Ant but he is engaged to another woman, Selena. Ant and I have just told our partners about the affair and Selena has left Ant, which means he may have to sell the house and live with his parents as Selena owns half of the house. Ant also feels that he has to leave his job. I want to leave Jonny and be with Ant, but Ant is very confused about the whole situation. He says he wants to be with me but he would have to make a choice between me or the house and job. Can you make any suggestions on how to put this mess right?
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female
reader, custard_creature +, writes (4 January 2006):
custard_creature is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm 18, Ant is 23, Jonny is 19 and Selena is 18. I have told Jonny about the affair and he says that he still wants to be with me, but he is worried that i will run off with ant. The problem is that i want to be with ant and not jonny.
i do think that the whole situation would be made easier if i were to dump both of them and find some one new, but i think that i've fallen for Ant. Another thing is that Ant did say he wanted to be with me a few days ago before our partners found out but now he is saying that he wants to be with Selena even though when i first started seeing him he said that the relationship had come to an end. I think that he my feel guilty as Selena's mum has only 2 months to live, her brother is in jail, her dad hates her, she has no job and money.
Yesterday Ant and Jonny managed to sort things out at work and Ant isn't leaving his job any more.
I'm really confused as i think that it would be best for every one if Ant and i didn't see each other, but we both get on really well and i really like him.
A
female
reader, Ury +, writes (4 January 2006):
Leave them both and start again, or wait for Ant to sort himself out and see if he comes to you. If he wants you then he will try to sort things out. He is in a very difficult situation especially with his fiance and her problems. Maybe you should take a back seat for a while and wait for him to contact you, he probably needs a breathing space.
Man I rule at giving advice, now stop stealing my nameses!!!
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A
female
reader, cassie5591 +, writes (3 January 2006):
I think perhaps you might want to stay in your own backyard or at least, date someone who is'nt tied to another.
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A
male
reader, Joe  +, writes (3 January 2006):
these are the kind of things in life which you just can't put right you haven't mentioned the age it's bad enough making choices like that in life but to do young can make it worse.
your thinking alot about ant and what he has to do what about jonny whats he going to have to do when you tell him?
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