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female
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*ia890
writes: I was dating GUY for almost 5 years. The past two years have been rough personally and with him. We broke up and went out over and over. I pushed him away big time. Now everything I've ever done to him is coming back to me. He told me he doesn't want to be with me etc. But usually this is his game. Tables are turned. I love him so much I didn't want to be with him for a while. But we continued to stay friends and he told me he loved me wanted to make it work etc. So when I was ready just a few weeks later, I told him I loved him and wanted to be with him. He told me he doesnt want to date right now. I am heartbroken; this is all my fault I pushed him away. He wants to be just friends but it's so hard. But there is that opening if we are friends - so I can just see him. But he is doing his own thing and I am alone. And man it hurts - all I think about dream about is him. I don't play games so I have no clue what to do. I'd give anything to try it one more time, I do feel he is my soulmate and I love him with everything I have. Do I chase him give him space or start dating other people? What if I tie myself up in another relationship and he comes back? What do I do to get him back to me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): Oops, I mean "Do NOT be lower than him"! 8x
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): My friend, brother, ally once told me, "I reserve breaking up if it is the sole thing I should and can do in a relationship, when all other alternatives have been unsuccessful." Ever since he said that to me, I've put it to heart. I often wonder why so many people 'break-up', make amends, come back together, then 'break-up' again, and again, and again?
If you two are indeed soul mates, you wouldn't even considered the notion of breaking up before. What the hell?! Do you take love so granted, that it's the ideal thing to do that you have nothing better to do?!?!
[calms]
Okay, I won't answer such a blatantly retarded question as, "Do I chase him give him space or start dating other people? What if I tie myself up in another relationship and he comes back?" BUT I will answer, "What do I do to get him back to me?"
If you can't take my words bluntly, then don't post here!
ANYWAY, since I don't know him, I can only say what can work for me, if a girl wants me back. You want him back? Try getting to know him. Being his friend rather than jumping into a relationship is a great start. Be supportive but not delusional is also another thing to remember. You can do things for him if you love him, but hold your dignity to your heart, and do be 'lower' than him. I don't know what type of 'man' he is, but if he is honorable, he will honor your intentions.
Show him respect, and he may respect you back. Hold your integrity, and you may gain the strength to cast away his possible controlling ways, if any. Show your careful support, and he will learn to appreciate your presence. Share with him your desires and your ambitions, and he may open his heart and mind to you.
If he isn't honorable, then obviously, you know what to do next... Right?
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