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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: my girlfriend broke up w/ me on thanksgiving and i didnt think anything of it. i figured we would work things out and be together again. i moved into her plce after dating for 6 months and she has said that my attitude did a 180. all i ever wanted to do was play video games and what not. i dont think thats the case. i figured that since we lived together we didnt always have to spend all our time together. weve broken up before and got back together but its been like a month and a half and around christmas time she started hanging out w/ someone she works w/. all ive been doing is trying to get her back and she said all she wants is space. up until last week we slept in the same bed. ive tried giving her space but she wont talk to me the same or look at me the same. i mean weve gone out a few times since christmas to movies and out to eat and what not but she seems so distant. she knows i love her and would do anything for her and she tells me she loves me all the time. i guess the whole reason she broke up w/ me was because i didnt do all the little things that girls want. cuddling and what not. thats why shes so unhappy. i have been trying everything i could possibly think of to get thru to her telling her i can change and we can be happy like we once were. i guess my question is is there anything i can do besides giving her her space? i havent brought us up and i try to wait to see if shell call or txt me but she doesnt. my friend talked to her and she didnt rule out the possibility of getting back together sooner or later. i love her to death and she knows i would do anything for her. ive written her letters and poems but i cant get thru to her. i just want her back so we can make a new start. i want the spark back. help me please. i am so desperate i feel like if i keep giving her her space shell forget about me and move on w/ this guy. i used to work w/ him and some of the stuff he said hes done to girls is quite disturbing. please i need help. ill do anything.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Mate, I'm sad to say the relationship is over - I've been there and made the same mistake myself.
At some point, your girlfriend made her final judgement call, probably after another time when you showed her that the videogame was more important to you than she was (wait, wait I hear you cry, that's not true - I agree, it probably isn't, but that's *her* perception of how it went down).
The best thing you can do is to move out and get on with the rest of your life. No more soppy poems or letters either. And the next time a girl says 'hey,' you drop the game straight away. Don't even 'just finish the mission.'
Always keep in mind that RL has to take precedence over time-wasting fun.
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 It sounds as though she felt that you took her for granted and when she started to get some attention from someone else, she liked it, and distanced herself from you.
Some times we don't realize what we have until its gone.
If you're still living together, I suggest you find a new place to live. Maybe she'll realize that she misses you. Maybe not. But you're better off giving her the space she wants. You can't win her back by begging. She'll have to come around on her own. If she doesn't, it wasn't meant to be, and it's time for you to move on without her.
Good luck.
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