A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey CupidIve been in a relationship with the most amazing woman ive ever met for 45months now and couldnt be more in love!We've had a tough time over the duration of our 45months. She's white and im black.My mom was quite easy with it all and happy for us but her mother doesnt quite know that we're together.She doesnt like us being friends much but has eased a bit and allowed her to see me more.She's studying and ive been working and we've missed each other alot this year.It has a taken its toll but we're keen on working it out together and find ourselves and rediscover each other again.She suggested that we cool things off a bit.take things easy and one step at a time coz we've been so serious and now since we've missed each other due to our busy schedules,things have changed.I was kinda gutted a bit when she told me she wants to chill a bit and take things slow.Now me feeling confused and gutted[a bit],is it all relevant?I love her and want to grant her the space she needs to find herself and me too.please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 It could be a good thing having a bit of space from each other, sometimes in a relationship you can loose sight of each other and it takes a bit of space to realise just how much you mean to each other.
Alot of different pressures can build up and you sound like you have some with the fact her mum does not really know you are dating.
Myself and my husband have recently had a break and we have now realised we really do want to be together, so it could be very well worth trying otherwise you may loose the relationship altogether.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (25 June 2007):
 When someone needs space, you can really only go two ways--either you don't give them the space they need and they have to leave you to get it, or you find a way to back off so they can be comfortable in the relationship.
It is by no means easy to give someone space when you want to be with them, but your girlfriend is in a very difficult position--being in a long-term relationship with a man you aren't comfortable bringing into your family, especially with all the stress of the previous months--and will need a little breathing room to figure out what she wants to do.
It doesn't mean she doesn't love you, or loves you less, but sometimes love is not the only consideration. She also has to find a way to be comfortable and just be with you. Do your best to take your cues from her--let her know that you're there for her and that you love her, but let her set the pace for awhile.
Best of luck.
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