| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: He is a relative of mines, yet distant. a few years ago, he contacts me for a favour..something to do with his music. I said I dont have what he wants but then he started talking more and more...until one day he just showed up at my door without my knowledge and that whilst texting me. i dont know why he would surprise anyone in that way but i wasnt home so..then a month later he invites me to his performance at a concert..and when he texted if i was gona make it..i said no...then he texted back...why not!! ill be performing!! a few months later..he texts if any1 has any nice plans for tonight? i dont bother to reply then the next weekend his text is directed at me..."what are you doing today"? i was busy and didnt reply and when i asked him a month later if he needed anything..he texted back...you know, if you were a lawyer..i would be dead by now. i didnt reply i thought that was just too stubborn for a reply. several months passed until he desperatly needed a favour again but i told him i dont have those skills that he wants so that was it. he never approached to even say hi at some reception..although when i was walking towards the exit, i overheard his little brother telling him hey hey that's her..he stared but never said hi...a few months later, he comes to my family's dinner party...he shaked hands and said ohh heyy with a big smile..he never said a word at the dinner table he was sitting in the same row but two other family members were in between...when they got up..i sensed that he looked towards me to say something but didnt..i was having a conversation with others. a month later, he rings me up at night...but i was out of town so never replied back. i havent heard from him since. What do you reckon is happening here?
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (9 February 2010):
 I think this bloke really likes you, alot. Because he's trying to get your attention by showing up at your house unexpectadly, he invites you out and phones you. But you have not shown much interest back to him. He's obviously spoken about you to his friends and family as his brother pointed you out when he saw you at the dinner party (another sign of him liking you). He decided to give it more there at the dinner party but you did not speak again with him. It seems as though he's becoming a little insecure by you not communicating with him in return and sooner or later, possibly now, he's beginning to believe you do not like him at all.
He's now trying to level with you by not seeming so desperate to attract your attention anymore as he once was attempting to. If he does not call again the only way you will be more than acquaintences is by chance. i.e. friends or family put you both together in the same place at another dinner party or event or you simply call him. Otherwise this flower has begun to slowly die. it needs sun (him) and water (you) to grow. this goes for any relationship, family, friends and lovers.
You could try to call him back out of surprise. just be casual and say hi and ask how he is and what he's been doing. A light hearted conversation should be enough.
The others which you speak of could be the manipulators There are two types of manupulation: Positive and negative. Positive being the one in this instance where the others could be repeating what you say to him and adding their own twist to provoke him to call you. or negative where its done in spite of you, if thats not what you want and they know it.
I think the ball is now in your court. If you like this person you have the power to call him and spend some time with each other and become more than acquaintences, be friends and laugh and then see how it goes from there if thats what you want to do.
A
male
reader, polarkite  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 I think he fancies you because of his behavior. He's showing obvious interest in you, and you've been blowing him off or ignoring him. Therefore, he's interested in you and you are not interested in him. Sure he hasn't come out and just said, "I want you!"; instead he's trying to feel you out, and when he does you show no interest.
His method is very passive, and he's very shy. He did ask you out once for his concert, and it hurt his feelings when you said no.
I think your reaction and behavior make sense given the circumstances. It seems like you are a little weird-ed out and find him annoying, so you pretty much just ignore what he does. That makes sense.
Here's some quotes from your question that I picked out which are obvious signs that he likes you:
"he just showed up at my door without my knowledge"
"he invites me to his performance at a concert.."
"he texts if any1 has any nice plans for tonight?"
"what are you doing today"?
"you know, if you were a lawyer..i would be dead by now."
"i overheard his little brother telling him hey hey that's her.."
"he stared but never said hi..."
"said ohh heyy with a big smile.."
"he looked towards me to say something but didnt.."
"he rings me up at night..."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): polarkite..its hard to tell who you're dealing with sometimes. since you're a guy, you may know better lol. what makes you think he likes me?
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A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (7 February 2010):
he *likes* you and you don't *like* him. obviously he's not gonna show it at a family dinner party since you two are relatives. he seems like the shy type too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): can someone please answer my query??
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