A
male
age
41-50,
*ubberduck11
writes:i started seeing a girl from work 7 mths ago. 1st 3 mths was great then the her mother fell ill with breast cancer. She has a daughter than has been unwell as well so shes had loads on her plate. Ive been there for her to lisen and help her. The last 5 mths we have only seen each other at work as she has been looking after her mother and daughter. Now her mother thankfully as on the mend and had the all clear. My problem is we had the 1st serous talk in the last 5mths about were we go from here. She says she wants to Start again. She does not want to go out she just wants to stop in her house. She moved house 2mths back and she has not asked me round. When i tex her at night she never gets back to me till the morning she allways said she did not hear the tex come threw or she left her phone in her bag. she texs me every morning saying nice things. When were at work shes very touchey feeley we kiss all the couple things. When i asked were we go from here shes told me that she wants to start again she cant just go straght into a Relationship. The last 5mths she as just happy to go as we was just seeing each other at work. She told me she loves me very much and when i asked do you see us having a future she said deffo yes but why am i not happy????
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rubberduck11 +, writes (7 December 2010):
rubberduck11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank yout to the both of you for replying to my problem. Im going to see what happens im still a bit confussed about the problem at the moment. its the starting again part what does that mean. Being truthful ive had many girl friends but i like this girl and shes got me spooked.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Just to reassure you a little, my phone is often in the bottom of the handbag, I dont always hear it. Sometimes I forget to check for voice mail for several days.
This lady sounds like she might be overwhelmed with all that is happening in her life at the moment, I would give it a few more months, if you look at it in weeks, say 8 or 12 weeks, it doesnt sound such a long time. Things should have even out a little by then, even if they havent got better.
However I would be telling myself that I wasnt going to hang around twiddling my thumbs for ever. My fingers are crossed for you, good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, freebirdsfly +, writes (5 December 2010):
Wow, what a confusing time for you!
The first thing you need to do here, is to take a deep breath and stop worrying about if you've done something wrong.
This lady has obviously been through a very tough time worrying about her mother and daughter. Sometimes, when we get very worried or stressed, we emotionally shut down for awhile to recover from the strain - it sounds like this is what has happened with her.
If you do really care for her and want to be with her, i'd recommend for the time being to honour what she is saying, and play it very slowly, as she just needs some time to recover from all the worry.
The only problem for you is that it feels that you have gone back to the beginning, and you probably dont feel sure if she really likes you etc etc. I really dont think this is the case, just tread carefully and be relaxed. The more relaxed and cool about it you are, the more she will be just naturally drawn to you.
She is very lucky to have someone who is willing to do this for her, and if you just play a bit of a waiting game I think it will all fall into place - I bet she has really appreciated your love and support through this difficult time.
...............................
|
