A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 weeks and have just passionately kissed and cuddled. He is 10 years older. We met online and I feel am still getting to know him. We are going to a wedding reception at a neighbours next weekend and he has messaged me to say that I can stay over at his, he wants to wake up with me and cook breakfast and that although all the passionate kissing is nice we can't keep going like that in public. He reckons once he's got me on my own he wants me to know he is going to want more. I feel kind of pressured now and disappointed . Before when I've had sex with a guy it happened naturally at the right time. I've been enjoying the kissing. What should I do?
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kissing, met online, neighbour, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (19 June 2015):
 You say to him: "IF you think that I'm gonna put out for you, in exchange for you putting me up at your house, and you preparing breakfast the next morning.... THEN you are sadly mistaken.... and you need to re-consider if we really want to go to this wedding shindig, after all...."
Should work. Good luck...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 June 2015):
 I think you should tell him. 3 weeks is still PRETTY early and still in the "getting to know you phase". IF you are not ready, then you are not ready.
It should happen "organically", not because he wants it NOW. Though it's flattering that he wants you that badly, it's also a little rude to think HE is the only one to set the pace.
Just tel you like him and you are attracted to him, but you don't want to feel pressured into having sex. Now he can take that ANY WAY he likes. How he reacts might give you a good indication of what kind of guy he is.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (19 June 2015):
 You should never feel pressured into being intimately involved. If you feel uncomfortable with his intentions then its time to sit back and reflect on what you really want. Don't be afraid to let him know that you don't like what you think he might be trying to get from you, especially since its so early on in the relationship. It is ALWAYS ok to say no, no matter how long you are have been dating, how old you are.
A gentleman respects a lady and will honor her wishes. A jerk will not. So what is he? A gentleman? or a jerk?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (19 June 2015):
 You should never be pressured into sex.
Three weeks? this guy hardly knows you. If he is a keeper he will remain a gentleman and not pressure you.
His actions and his pressure are crass and not the actions of a gentleman.
He should allow things to develop naturally.
If no sex is a deal breaker for him then he's only in this THREE week liaison for the sex. After he's had the sex, in these circumstances, he may soon tire of you.
There should be no "timetable" for when sex should occur.
And if can pressure you into sex so early then what other pressures will he put on you?
I would be most off-put by his impatience.
Are the bride and groom your friends, his friends or mutual friends, known to both him and you for some time?
If they are specifically your friends then you could consider attending alone and not go to the wedding with him. I think your enjoyment of the wedding would be marred by the pressure you would be feeling during the reception.
If he is serious then he needs to learn how to woo you and behave more respectfully using empathy, tact and patience.
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