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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was married two months ago and have recently found among my husbands papers many pictures of ex-girlfriends including naked pictures. Is it normal for him to hold on to these? Should I be upset?
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (10 March 2006):
 Lots of people keep "trophies" or reminders of previouse relationships, I used to keep cards and pictures (yes nude ones) but when I moved house I trew them all away as I had found them in stuff stored in the attic and had not looked or remembered they were for years so not wanting anyone else to find them and not being that interested to keep them, they went in the shredder.
If it bothers you then tell him, ask him why he keeps them and if he would not mind putting them in the bin.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2006): you have a right to be upset that you found them, and you'd have a right to be upset if he was intentionally hiding them from you. But it's just as likely that he simply hadn't thought of them in a while. it's also possible that he'd thought of them but figured there was no harm in holding on to them, for memories. Of course, that's obviously not true, but he might have just been stupid, rather than malicious. you just married him, so you must, in general, think he's a pretty great guy. for that reason alone, it's probably worth giving him the benefit of the doubt until you have reason not to.
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (10 March 2006):
 if he knew they were still there id say yes you should be upset and no thats not normal...not when you have just married someone! especially not telling you before letting you marry him.
but if he just forgot they were there then id just ask him to throw them away.
but!...only you know whether it really upsets you, if it does my advice is that you have a right to deal with that!
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