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We've been married for 7 years, yet he rarely kisses me or tells me he loves me...is he cheating?

Tagged as: Cheating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *mamom writes:

okay today we are married 7 years, together for 8. he sleeps on the couch 99% of the time.never kisses my except on occasion as he is leaving for work.doesnt hold me,rarely says he loves me. and he tells me i get on his nerves. now he swears he is not cheating,but what am i supposed to think?

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A female reader, annielove Kenya +, writes (21 May 2008):

hey sweety i doubt if your man is cheating on you me i think he has shut himself out usually men get into a state they tend to lock themselves to themselves gal my i think you should have the talk one on one and sort it out,if it doesnt work,i think you get out of it because it will end up stressing you.all the best in everything nothing is unsolvable

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

It is really sad when relationships come to this. I know I'm like both of your husband's in my marriage. I've never been a macho man that most women are looking for. I'm sensitive mostly to those I am close to, all others don't phase me.

I'll agree men don't do well in expressing there feelings, but what do you expect when it is expected of them not to. It ends up building up in them then explodes. At this point, they cannot manage the feelings and do a poor job of expressing themselves; and is usually why they keep silent, especially if they come to the conclusion there spouse has shown uninterest in there opinion or feelings; instead, ridiculed for having these feelings. So a man will shut down with there spouse, and then she is shocked when he is able to freely talk with others: it is because she has shut the door on him.

Not saying this is either your situation, but something to consider when talking with your man, and he has shown a sensitive side.

I doubt he is cheating, it sounds like he is a hurt animal, crawling up. Does he look/sound hurt?

I suggest that somewhere down the line, you responded in a way that prevented him in giving opinion. I know my wife doesn't think much of my opinion, even when I'm right.

When a man says his wife is annoying, it is because she is chattering like a monkey at the same time he is either busy or is thinking about something.

It is funny, when my wife is watching TV, or reading, she must not be interupted. But if I am watching TV or reading, I must stop and give her my full attention, and dam me if I don't! LOL It's like why bother, and this means everything. I'm happy when I can get out of the house or she goes for a walk. Its not that I want to leave the marriage, it isn't that I want to find someone else, its just that I want more respect from her. Respect that I can do things without her poking her finger and always questioning why I did this or that. Its annoying, and I'd rather be miles apart at this time. Its nit-picking, and I have to much on my mind to play this childish game of hers.

Anyways, that my story.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

Yes, i know what you are talking about. Me and my ex (when together) had separate bedrooms, separate sitting rooms and even our own tellys. We lived in the same house with our son. You need to have a good long chat with him and end it. Seriously that is what i did. I went out and got a house to rent for me and my son and off we went, then he was interested, too late!!! Be strong and brave and get your act together and walk out, you deserve better. He doesnt even sleep with you, what else is left, f all, so walk, or kick him to the kerb, but life is too short and stop wasting it.

take care

xxxx

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