A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i are separated. we meet up every couple of days but nothings changed. he is still nasty to me. treats and talks to me in a horrid manner. its the main reason we separated. weve only been married just over a year and things have never been ideal.he's staying at my parents house for the past 8 weeks and i am at the point where im happy without him.its the first time in our three year relationship ive felt i can breath. i do whatever i want when i can. i have gone back to being a happy chatty person. i had while i was with him so miserable and depressed.he keeps saying i have a problem because i need a hobby. he says im lazy because im a housewife but that doesnt mean i sit doing nothing all day.how can i work out whats wrong in the marriage?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Sadly, it sounds like things aren't working out very well. They say the first year of marriage is often the toughest, however, both of you are mature adults and it sounds like you invested a fair amount of time into one another before you tied the knot.At this point, it sounds like you are happier without him. I think you need to make up your mind as to whether there is anything worth salvaging and whether you want to fight for your marriage. Also, you have to make an honest assessment as to whether your husband is capable of change / being the man you thought you were marrying. Perhaps the "wool has been removed from your eyes" and that isn't possible. In addition, you need to take an honest look at yourself and see what you can do to rectify the situation. Perhaps your husband has some qualified "gripes" that you need to address.It'll take some work and I would recommend you see a counselor to help facilitate the dialog as well as keep things civil. Either way, you have tough decisions to make and both are filled with risk and work.Good luck.
A
female
reader, labida  +, writes (30 March 2011):
first of all marriage is saint thing which we should try to keep but it shouln`t be one sided it should be 2 sided. u have to come together talk openly explain everything what u feel but in very polite and lovely way.u are woman u have to be very clever and cunning. ask what he doesn`t like on you and say what u don`t like on him make promises to treat each other politely and carefully.and be sure men don`t like women who try to be equal. men should feel that he is the strongest and cleverest in that family and his wife is weak and needs his help and care. even if it is not so pretend that u`re weak and really need his help and his support.u have to ask for help in very sweet way: Oh dear I`m really tired can u do this for me please!!!!!!!!
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